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February
29 2004 Sunday
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Good
bye February
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Never
again will I see you feb 2004...or maybe not? |
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Saturday
night Sunday morning …on
the train on the way home…
2:50 am just left Douglas on a cab,
now I go home. . I played pool today at BBC. The table
looked huge at
first; too much time on the bar table. I raced to seven
with Aaron. I won seven to three. Afterwards we went
to go eat at china town; we ate a lot of food. I had
chicken and peanuts in hot sauce; it cleared my sinuses.
Then we went to the E-bar. Douglas was there on the
table already. We all drank and played pool. Douglas
was making fans. People feared to play him. Some girl
offered to pull up her top for him if he let her play.
Douglas said no. She said you must be gay. Aaron had
a bit of a cold. I Played bouncer at some point and
Douglas was backing me up; thugs. I smoked a lot. I
have a little cough now. Lindsey is there and drama
has yet again followed her. She told me everybody in
the bar thinks she is a little loose. Sam was bartending;
Sam is Venus,
even Douglas noticed her. Sam is dreamy. I saw Mike.
Mike told me he woke up drunk as well from last night.
The bar had some real dorks in it tonight; it also
had some real friendly ladies as well. On Monday some
of Douglas new ladies- fans will be there to watch
him shoot. We play big Al’s team.
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Any
comments?
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About
Friday night
I can’t afford a relationship right now.
All I can afford is an affair. “Sex
is a misdemeanor the more sex you miss the meaner
you
get; I got that quote from a Mea West
add in the bathroom Friday night at a blues bar.
I played a little pool yesterday. Then I
went to the E-bar and drank. Emi showed
up, she told
me
an old mutual friend of ours tried to make-out
(kiss) with her last Sunday at the BD-party;
everybody was kissing that night. Emi is very
kissable.
I
told Emi how old I was and she did not
believe me.no one every does. I said it was
a secret. She said oh ok. Emi took three steps
way from
and
started yapping
my age to her crew. Thanks Emi you 23 year
old Abb-Fab-gal. Gota remember those
23 year old’s. so old.
I meet a girl on the pool table At E-bar;
we played pool. Ronnie said when he walked
in
as she was
playing with me on the table he noticed
I was looking at her as if she was my
nursemaid,
I was staring
at her like I was a little puppy dog while
she shot; her game was kind of hot. I asked
if she
wanted
to be on a pool team. She said she would
love to. Look out Rumble Fish, here comes
another
killer
for the roster.
I had a conversation with Shannon. I can
see and appreciate were she is coming from.
Or
were she
is now. I don’t think anybody would make
heads or tails of the things we were talking about.
Or how we were talking. If and average person was
standing there with us listening to us they would
have had us both put away. It was refreshing to
got to a place I haven’t been at in a long
time.
Aaron
meet me at the bar later in the evening,
he meet a girl there. They played darts.
Aaron’s
a chick magnate. About two in the morning, mike
the owner of E-bar ask if I wanted to go bar hopping
with him. I said ok and we went to a few places.
The last place we went too was a blues club. The
live music was good. Mike was dancing. There were
some hot ladies dancing to the music as well. It
was fun. I got real drunk. On the way home everybody
on the train was drunk and throwing up. I had to
pee real bad so I peed in-between train cars; my
pee was two stops long, 23rd to 28th street. I
got home at 5:30 I passed out then I woke up at
9:00am I was still drunk I stood up till my drunk
was over, I ate, I watched TV, then I went back
to sleep. I didn’t wake up with a hang over.
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Any
comments? | Cynthia
Posillico
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Feb
27 Friday
What
The Wild Things Did
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Rumble
fish Rumbling and Jimmy watched.
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I
made the ball... If your wondering....
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All
About Yesterday
10:30 am
There is s a crazy women in my neighbor hood who
goes around asking people for change all
the time, this
mourning on the way to work she walks up
to me and asks me “can I have dirty-bibe-dent?” I
walked away ignoring her. Then I kept thinking
what the hell was she asking me for? It
occurred to me
later on what she was asking for when I paid
for a cup of coffee at the newsstand. She
asks for
thirty-five cent. Her heavy accent made
it a little difficult
to translate dirty-bibe-dent into thirty
five cents. Oh well.
*
The last couple of days I have hade an unfamiliar kind
of sleep. I sleep deep in short times. I go too bed
at three in the mourning sometimes at four and wake
up at six or seven almost feeling like I slept for
twelve hours. I am even remembering my dreams.
*
I have a date on Saturday and I will bring her to
the E-bar to meet the guys. If Ronnie flirts
with her
and she is receptive to him than I know she can’t
be trusted. If she ignores him too hard then I know
she can’t be trusted. If she shows insecurity
over the good looking bartenders than I know
I am wasting my time. A test is a shity thing
to
do, if
you have
to run a trust test on a potential spouse then
why date her or him to begin with?
*
6:35 pm Broadway B…
Playing with Douglas and Oliver rotation on the BBC
table. We are beating each other up. Oliver is a lot
better than I thought. He has got a lot of heart. He
likes to make the ball more than anything. Me? I like
how I make the ball more than making it. Douglas? He
likes to win with both how and do. What a trio we make.
*
9:30 pm at Sleep late bar.
Stephanie is stressed. To many people want her. Her
old boss wont let her leave the team; or her job so
to speak. She got a better offer. Or so she thinks.
I have seen her for the last couple of days with the
same expression on her face. This very familiar face.
Kind of a worried/confused/sad/vexed-look. I have been
there; A lot. Not with her situation but with a dilemma
sitting on me for days and days and its showing on
me like a 42 street billboard. For a long time I watch
people I know handling much more complicated situations
with a very cool nonchalant edicate. Steph looks like
what I look a lot of times. I feel relieved that I
am not the only one who sometimes have heavy thoughts
showing on me like a ten-gallon hat; still got to get
her ballet tickets.
*
9:35pm
Having a discussion with Steph about faithfulness’ and
unfaithfulness. Why do we do this? Go through Faithful
and unfaithful dilemmas? Natural Desire? Necessity?
Survival? The list goes on. If it’s so long then
does it matter the reason, why make laws around it
if it’s natural human behavior? We are gona do
it no matter what. Sometimes even if we don’t
want too.
10:45 pm
I am teaching Ronnie how to use my ibook. He is happy.
Today
3:37pm
Aaron
called. Aaron wants to go drinking today. So we will.
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Any
comments?
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Feb
26 2004 Thursday
Oracle,
Ash and Anger-oh my
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From
Cynthia
Posillico
Why being Catholic sucks…
Wed.
Ash Wed.
Hump day.
No meat…no humping. No humping meat ether.
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I am feeling very tired and upset that I have to make a Cape Codder and I’m
not on the cape. If I were I would be eating oysters, drinking gin martinis,
and barefoot. Why is it so difficult to catch fish when there are so many of
them? I wish I could sail. I wish I were in love. I wish the man I loved could
sail and catch fish and never want to dance at weddings.
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Working can wait this is paradise having no work to do and taking it easy too,
working can wait.
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I recently went on a date with a guy who had a lot of tattoos and it was sort
of cool because it kept the conversation going. I don’t know if I would
have had anything to say to him if he didn’t have so much conversational
shit all over his body. I actually think it is a good idea for shy people to
get tattoos and work out some kind of explanation for each one. It helps. There
are no awkward silences when a person has a screaming dragon on their forearm.
I wish I was bit more shy. I have no need for tattoos. I’ll tell you everything
about myself if you should happen to ask.
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I was born in Brooklyn and raised in Florida. My parents are still married and
crazy in love with each other. My brother eloped in Vegas last year. I have no
pets, but want a French bulldog. I want him to be a boy and I will not name him
until we meet. My favorite color is pink, but I am not a fan of red. I have never
been truly moved by a painting, but music kills me. I have no talent for music.
Until recently I seemed to only date musicians because they did the stuff that
got me. They never get me and I never get them and it’s a big mess. I’m
recovering.
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I love Rock-n-Roll put another dime in the…whatever.
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Maybe a classical musician would be okay. Like a violinist or pianist. I hate
saying pianist out loud in front of people. Embarrassing. |
Sonny
has a big ash on his for head. Sonny says,
back before Jesus Christ was crucified Mc Donald’s
didn’t sell too many burgers. Especially on Friday;
over two burgers sold.
One of the missing pages of the bible, Jesus goes to
Mc Donald’s. He just ate fries. Jesus Christ
the teen years.
Sonny says he plays pool with people
who don’t
believe in Christ….uh, and?
I played Tony. Tony is tearing me a new one on the
table. Tony is playing someone with a pinched nerve
in his lower back and neck. It is very pain full to
go down on the shot. Every stroke hurts. My energy
that is normally for whatever activity I am on. Is
now focusing on healing the pain in my neck. Even in
pain, my mechanics give him a game.
Some woman said I look like Al-Sharpon. Molly-want
a cookie? Some woman from up stares is complaining
about the music coming from the bar. She is crazy.
She told me she doesn’t even really live up there.
She is crazy. I told her egg cartoon her head.
The Sabian Oracle Says:
GEMINI 4 # 64
HOLLY AND MISTLETOE BRING SPIRIT
TO A HOME.
There regularly comes a time when we need to reconnect
with loved ones, family, or, in a larger sense, humanity
to discover the strengths and joys in the cultural
and religious bonds that hold us together. Even though
we may live our lives primarily as separate entities,
this bond can serve to strengthen each and every
participant.
Social celebrations of the spirit. Returning to basic
joys. Celebrations of family and friends. Joy. The
value of community.
The Caution: The use of superficial tricks or performance
to achieve happiness or meaning. Neglecting family.
Then
I asked a second question
The Sabian Oracle Says:
CANCER 22 # 112
A YOUNG WOMAN AWAITING A SAILBOAT.
There is a strong sense that the ideal will come
if you wait long enough. The waiting can lead
to a pleasurable
expectation, but don't become dependent on
unreliable expectations. If you are constantly
looking out,
then you are not giving enough time to looking
back or inward
at the things you already possess or have ready
access to.
Waiting for one's ship to come in. Escapist fantasies
that waste time. Longing for escape..
The Caution: Longing for fulfillment that may
never arrive. Hoping that things will one day
`happen'.
Missing opportunities through emotional inaction.
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Any
comments? | Cynthia
Posillico
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Ash
Wednesday…
Uh oh. There is a nasty storm brewing. I "almost" feel bad; almost.
Then again I shouldn't feel bad. I can’t really tell if its really
well deserved. I think it is and I think it isn’t; mostly is. Like
I said before; or written before. Young people make stupid mistakes. 23
years is a funny age. Espeacly for girls. Being too proud to admit a mistake
that can be costly. Decisions are made in hast and sometimes they can be
regretful. I am standing on the edge of a cliff and I see in the distance
the clouds turning grey and angry. It’s going to be an ugly one;
I have a raincoat and an umbrella; and a snorkel too if needed. I’ll
be ok. I don’t know if it is really the way it should be but it might
be well deserved or might not be well deserved. I almost feel sad it has
to be that way; almost, but not certainly. Technicalities are a bitch especially
when they sneak up on you like that. I so did not see that one coming.
It’s like I said before. Karma knows no friends, Karma knows no mercy,
and Karma knows no regret. I am so sorry. But then again, I am really not
that sorry. So; I
went to Sabiansymbols.com for
a Sabian Oracle reading |
Any
comments? |
Feb
25 Wed
I
flashed Val my nipple for beads last
night...
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I
ate a cake and got a little toy alien...goodluck for
the rest of the year?
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I
think I did get good luck after eating the cake with
the toy inside cuase a truck load of hot chicks walked
into the bar last night tp play pool.
Mardi Gras stuff. Flash Valerie
the Bartender and get beads and a free drink.
A good flash a good drink and so fourth. I flashed
twice; got beads, beer and a jack with coke. Then played
pool. Some hot ladies walked in. one of-em plays pool
on a regular basis. she is hot as well. I was telling
Douglas next season I’m going to put together
an all girl team. She will be one of-em.
I
ask Molly to write something in my diary.
Molly Writes….
The boy I am totally infatuated with just
sent me a text message that read’s, “you should call
later – I’ll be up…all night.” And
right now I am having a difficult time wiping
the shit grin off my face. www.mollyknight.com
*
Molly is the best. She works the hardest at the bar;
at least in my opinion. Valerie too; Val is yummy.
Molly did her hair, it looks gorgeous. Sam is beautiful,
like
Venus.
E--- bar really does have the smartest and best-looking
women bar tenders in the lower east side.
*
I played today; I’m-talking-about Ronnie’s
Tuesday team. I played, I won. Marcus; my
player for my Monday team is on the Tuesday
team we are playing
against today. Marcus is a level #5. He played
against Peter Cheng who is on Ronnie’s team; Peter is
a level #7. Marcus won. Marcus is good and he is on
my Monday team; Yayyyy. After playing George yesterday
he should destroy a lot of people for a while now.
Rachel, won her match. William and Rachel Gave Ronnie’s
team dignity for tonight’s games and match. There
are two girls with the same name on Ronnie’s
team (Rachel). One of the Rachel’s is very angry
with Ronnie. She took Ronnie’s nervous energy
personal as she was shooting. He called a coach when
she was down on her shot. When Ronnie shows urgency
to win, he tend’s to be a little jumpy with his
coaches and such along with talking a little smack
about the quality of the game; just a little. It doesn’t
bother me too much. Almost not at all. If I lose and
get a bit of a scolding from him, I can read between
his lines. I wont take his critique for one of my loses
too personal. I know what he is really saying. “ I
want too win William please help me-cause I cant do
this by myself” I will just listen
calmly and do the best I can.
People
really take this game to heart sometime. I do it
sometimes as well; just sometimes.
Once I had this desire to be a champion, so I practiced
all the time. I hit a certain paltue in my game and
I came across some new questions in my endeavor to
be an excellent pool player; whatever an excellent
poolplayer is. I think it might be the time invested
to be ranked as good in the pool community and whom
you play and beat; I think. The thing with pool is,
even when you win you still have to win again another
day. So how valuable is a win. This applies for loosing
as well. If you lose, you will have a chance to get
win another day. A win that will last what? 15 minutes. MGM
said to me once. “You are only as good as
your last win” Meaning; even if you win a hundred
times in a row and lose once. People will remember
that one lose more than any of the wins. Sure they
will fear you if they play you but its that lose that
will give your opponent a sense of hope and the confidence
needed to try and beat you or just too win. Don’t
you just love pool.
These
days when I win, I don’t
feel like I’m winning anything.
These days when I lose I don’t feel like
I’m losing anything ether.
Is this what George means by “just have-fun”?
When I lose a game or a match and see that guy
jumping up and down, I find it fascinating. I see
he feels
he got a good win. I see he feels/thinks he took
down a giant; me. I find that more of a compliment
than
acutely beating
someone who is just not as polished and tuned as
I have so “supposedly” developed according
too some APA’ers. I apply the principles
of art to the/my game and get results that make
me happy.
Even when I miss. I know I did what I wanted
to do and no one can tell me I did wrong. Now
give me my cookies....
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Any
comments? | www.mollyknight.com
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WED:
4:00pm. I was getting coffe and saw Gina
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Gina
Gershon ...
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She
noticed I noticed her. I noticed she noticed I noticed
her and we both didn’t give a shit.
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Any
comments? |
Feb
24 Tuesday
Who
the Wild Things are....
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Rumble
fish 4 points
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7:00pm.
Sitting here at Dukes on the spot live…Rumble
fish verses Barsinisters, (old nick name; the roach
on the stick team), That’s an inside joke. Mark
is no longer the
captain it is now Jhon.
Aaron won his match. 3 too 1. Aaron played like
a champ. Oliver played and the other guy got
lucky. Douglas blames me a little. Maybe it is
true he
should;
maybe not. I let him give me a scolding. He is my champion, he is my buddy,
he
is entitled. However the champion Oliver that he is he still blames himself.
(He blames it solely on an Italian broad from Long Island. Chicks go figure.)So
the game begins. Douglas wins the lag. Douglas just did a killer shot on
the 8-Ball on the first game. Douglas won the
second game in the same manner as
the first. Armando is breaking down; one brick
at a time. Maybe Armando AKA the wolf
man is dreaming about the days of Lucy’s. Armando looks scared. Armando
just did an ugly shot. Douglas looks too good. I am
scared for the wolf man. Douglas shoots, Douglas does not score. Oliver
just said “oooOOOOOO-ugly”.
Douglas just gave Armando a ball in hand. I hear a thump. Aaron trips and
falls down walking by the table in the background, I don’t look because
I am too busy watching Armando getting a coach from the infamous George.
Douglas just
lost the first game. The race now is Douglas 2 Armando 3. And the beat
goes on. Douglas wins the game with a run; Douglas wins his match now it
is two one. My
new player Marcus is up I match him against George. George wins the lag,
George breaks, George runs the table, “1”. George breaks an
runs it down to the 8 misses the 8. Marcus shoots one ball then another
then another then
misses George is up, runs the table.”2”. George breaks, George
runs the table. “3”. Do I really need to go on? George wins
all the games. George wins the match. George is not a level 7 he’s
more like level 10 today; just today I now his game already. But I heard
he lost last week to a
level 4; chicks go figure. He still tells me I want to be on your team
William. I think to myself hell-fucken-no but I say to him ‘the day
you stop drinking is the day I will put him on my team”. LoL. The
first season I put him on, he lost a lot, then he started fighting with
me and the team, then
he quit.
But he came back a few weeks later and said I felt like a loser quitting,
like a quitter, I am no quitter I am no loser so I put him back on, he
may not be
a loser or a quitter but he is a drunk and needs help with his drinking
problem. William is up. They match a 3 against William. William puts on
an ill nino cd for his game. William wins the lag. William
wins the first match then the second then runs the third. William wins.
Three two xxxtory for Rumble fish. This should put us on 19/20 points for
the season
so far. Weeeeee.
*
Were
the wild things are…
I
found a wild animal on the street today. A Badger.Hmmmmmm.
I have wild animals on my team. Most APA captains
adopt players who are domestic animals like poodles,
parakeets, Hamsters, canaries, cat, dogs gold
fish
etc. Not me. Not my team. I always had Lions and Tigers and Bears and Wolverines
and Badgers, Eagles, and Sharks. I just got a strong
grip on the fact that every single one of my players over the years have
been
independent people who live
in the city ether alone or on some semi survival life style with barley
a family member close by to bail them out if
the chips are down. Every domestic
animal
I had on my team in the past jump ship. I think Marcus is my first domestic
animal for Rumble fish who wont jump ship; Also-who-I-think-might-now-want
to run with the wild animals to improve
his game. Lets see how he does this season. I believe in Marcus. I know
he’s
got the heart and the skills. George was a good start. Lets see him turn
into a wild animal. Mark didn’t want me
talking to George. Mark wants to think he knows
George better than I do. George is one of the
wildest animals I had on my team. Mark doesn’t
realize the Wild animal he has on his team. But
he will
soon. Good luck Mark, taming the beast
of Broadway.
*
So far this season, I really haven’t tried to work hard at
being a captain. I barely call the team to show
up and there showing up. Don’t have to ask for money. They are paying. Maybe I will
take next week off. Went to edge bar after ward, watched the other team play.
George was there, MGM was there. George
doesn’t really want to be on the team he is on write now. If he just
fucken behaved and slowed down with the booze I might put him on Rumble
fish again,
but that will never happen. Poor George doomed to be a floater in life.
I am not that far from it myself.
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Any
comments?
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Tues/Mon:
Wild thing Maria tells me she wants to get with Douglas or
Martin
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Black
or white, it makes no diffrence to me... I'll take em
both...oh and william too. How french is that; wee wee.
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Any
comments? |
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Feb
23 Monday
late
for work |
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pickled
herring Jesus, Forgiving, If i didnt know any better....
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4:22pm.
Today we play the team Georges is on; wWeeeEEeeEEe. Douglas
was talking strategy against George; why? Talking
about match up and such. I had that wacky guy on
my team for about 6/7 seasons. I know his game
like the back of my hand. The best strategy is
just one. When they put him up, just get him out
of the way. Don’t try and beat him, you will
end playing for about three hours. Win or lose
it doesn’t matter. Just get him out of the
way and maneuver the team match ups around him. ateam
can only win as a team it dosent mater if a team
has just one good player, you need 5 points for
a win not one. Its team 8 ball.
Yesterday
(sunday) at 2:00pm. Just thinking on the way
to the bar…The
UN forgiven conversation on the phone.
*
I’m talking to my buddy on the phone and we are
having a conversation on forgiving. Lets see….
Can I forgive? Yes I can. I am thinking about all the
terrible
moments I went thru with my friends and family
over the years and thought despite-all-that witch transpired,
we still say hello to each other, hug on Christmas
and look and speak to each other like we are old
friends
and family. I have been here before. The whole
trying to rationalize forgiving-something or someone-that
cant be forgiven easily thing. Its bad for the
soul-I
have said this before. In the past, I have had
family members do the most terrible and –or unbelievable
acts of evil possible to me and-or to each other
and still somehow or another I find it in themselves
or
myself to forgive. Is it fear that makes us forgive?
Is it selfishness? Are we forced to forgive because
of the consequence of not forgiving? Why do we
forgive? Pride; maybe, dignity? Does it all depend
on what
it is? Can you forgive and unfaithful lover as
opposed to a back stabbing brother sister or friend?
What
is
the difference? Reasons; meaning, committing an
act with an action in-witch will lead to trouble
in yours
or a relationship on any level. Jesus gave
his life for this "forgiving thing". Not that I
really believe
in the bible because I know its missing pages. But
the story is interesting. I can forgive; most of
the time. But it takes me time. Nobody ever put
a time
limit on forgiving, unless I was dying of something.
Dying from life. For the record I am now going
to officially forgive…err…. uh…well…gee…funny…I
can’t even write down what I want to forgive.
Not that I don’t know what it is because
I do…but
now I suddenly feel angry at the things I find
tuff to forgive. Or maybe I am angry with my self.
I wish
I could forget those things I need to forgive.
Or at least I think I need to forgive. I feel like
I am going
to surrender something if I forgive. The trouble
with this is I don’t know what I am surrendering.
This is one of those, I didn’t realize I
had it until I have completely lost it thing. Interesting.
Well, time to get off the train. Off to pool and
party land.
*
Yesterday (Sunday) at 4:00pm. I played pool at BBC and
shot well.
Then
I
played
some
kid who is on
Jimbo’s barfly team. I beat him. He is rated a 5 on the APA. To bad,
because he is not a #5 under Rumble-fish standards. He would be a good three.
I am beginning
to learn my team players are very different from the rest of the APA teams.
I saw Vinny in the pool hall. He is going to the hospital, Vinny is very
ill. Ill
visit him if he has to stay. Off to the bar.
*
this morning 1:30am coming home from the bar; Tequila shot’s-now
drunk…Random
writing.
Douglas walks in a little after me. There is pickled herring on the table
and lots of cheese; were the fuck is the food? Douglas and Liz get a long
lovely. Elizabeth
is very beautiful. All over beautiful. And she likes Douglas. Wow.
It was fun at the bar, lance told me a few things about some things. I agreed
with him on a few things; just a few, big shit. Aaron walk in, he looks good
in his new jacket. We drink we get drunk. I ate a lot of cheese. There are
lots of girls at the bar. There is a six-foot chicken head playing pool.
Oliver walks
in, he plays, he’s good he’s on my team. Ronnie puts on the last
episode of sex in the city. I hate that show. Rachel agrees with me that
is patronizes the stereotypes of men and woman. Lindsey brings drama to the
bar;
Lindsey always
brings drama to the bar. Douglas almost looses my notebook. I am drunk right
now. Aaron byes me a falafel. Emi walks in with her crew at 12:00am. I love
Emi. She is the best. Sam is drunk, mmmMMMmmmMmmm; be good William. Val is
drunk.
Patrick grabbed my ass.
John
tells me I write too much on my diary, less words
more pitchers. Michelle is on the floor
piss drunk playing with a little wind up toy
of jumping boobies.
I smoke a lot with Aaron. Jim walks in, I miss Jim; or I’m gona miss
Jim. Mel has wicked eyes. AJ is beating everyone on the table. Val tells me
I get
way to many freebees at the bar. Val is hot. Maybe I can get away with a freebee
Val. Aaron is hungry. Aaron is out cold with his new jacket.
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Any
comments?
|
Feb
22nd SUNDAY
Happy
Birthday EMI!!!!
|

|
|
|
Free
food and Booz day...bloddy mary here I come
|
|
It’s
Sunday 10:00am…
Did laundry, ate break feast took a shower, spoke to
Emi; Happy Birthday baby, Emi is now at age were
she wont say how old she is anymore. That’s
graduation day I remember when I was at the age of…bla…bla…bla…bla.
Then I kept it quite.
*
Anyway
I couldn’t decide if I need a
shave, is
it time for the goatee to go? Is it time to get ride
of the rebel security blanket across my face? Naaa.
I'll keep it for a little while longer. At least
for the winter, I still need to got to the gym, spring
is almost here.
Today
im going to play pool, meet Emi later then off
to Ronnie’s
party. I'll up date later, chow.
|
|
Any
comments?
|
|
Feb
21st Sat
“gorgeous
girls of a feather
flock together” |
|
|
Jamie Yesterday she was on... and her game too
|
|
Bemuse…
I need lessons. I wont say in what. But what I need
is, energy control; maybe. It is not that I am hyper
active, or a sloth ether. But, time with me has an
effect on my moods. I am sitting here in the bar,
its 8:26pm and all I can think about is that thing
that bothers me. I am so mixed up right now. I am
not the most forgiving person. Is this bad? I feel
like an asshole. I feel like I am right but why do
I feel left, alone… I am not wrong.
*
Distractions…
8:35pm. Ron just walked in the bar as I sit here writing, as
I am not improving my pool game…its his birthday today,
35years, wow that make me xcx years older than him…he is going to celebrate
it on Sunday. Lots of food and drinks on Sunday. Ronnie is wearing white. Kind
of reminds me of
Mr. Roark from Fantasy Island.
||||||
Joe just walked in…quote of the evening, “gorgeous girls of a feather
flock together”. Meaning? Michelle old roommate (Jamie) is visiting her
at the bar. And of course, she is good-looking; a lot good-looking. Almost Fairy
like.
||||||
8:45pm. Karolyn just walked in. red hair sugary lips, banging figure, She’s
passionate. If I had the means, if I could, I would help her with her current
problem. She stepped out for ice cream.
|||||||
8:50pm. Stephanie just walked in mmmmmMMMmmmm. What can ya say…wow. Still
got to get her tickets for the ballet. If I had the means she would definitely
get my attention. All the time.
|||||
Karolyn is back. Ice cream. Yummy. Ronnie has taken notice of the beautiful creature
sitting at the bar; Jamie. Ronnie is now sitting with the beautiful creature
at the bar. What ever. |
Distraction
Magic
Jamie How does this happen?
|


|
|
|
*

Ok…time
to write something that is not going to take my
attention away.
Getting back to what I was feeling before. There
is a rush of hot blood in my system that wont leave,
ripples
in the water, what ever you want to call it. I
feel cheated. I don’t want to turn into the
ice king. The ice king is cold and scary and does
bad things sometimes.
*
More distractions….
I just did a shot with Ronnie. Michelle asked if I wanted to go with her and
Jamie to Anatomy bar. Before we all went I watched Jamie shoot some pool. She
is magical. Making balls like she-owns-em. While she was shooting I noticed her
stature is very lovely. Smooth, curvy and yoga-like even. And her eyes are to
die for. Whatever. After she won like a million games we went to Anatomy bar. Not
much happening there so we went to Ace Bar and shot for a while; got drunk and
went else where after ward and got drunk some more hanging with beautiful girls
is not such a bad thing sometimes. Whatever. Found a wallet with a lot of money
in it. The owner came looking for it and hour later at the bar, so I returned
it. Karma. Some dude wanted to fight with me and tom at the bar.
I
ignored him but he kept on. So I gave him the fearless-crazy look, then he shut
up.
I really
wanted to
kick his ass at that moment but he backed down so I let it go. If we got into
a fight I would have been pounding three months of irritation on him. Lucky boy,
lucky. |
Tim
is hard-core, he drinks till he vomits, yea baby!!!
4:08pm. Just got invited to a kegger
this coming friday, were gona burn the house down.
|
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Any
comments?
|
Feb
20th Friday After Paddies
RumbleFish
JIM
I
hate to lose you buddie
|

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|
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This
is Jim My best Rumblefish
|
|
The
Friday after Jims going away party…. I’m
a little drunk and so is Aaron
Sitting here with Aaron 1:30am in the morning on the
subway platform, He likes Jim he tells me, Jim likes
him, Jim like s the team. Jim said Rumble fish is the
best pool team he has ever been on; ever. He is sad
he’s leaving the team. He asks me three times
about what’s-her-face ”why did she leave?”-Pause-stare-pause “Get
her back will,” he’s tells me. I said to
him; once I thought she was the best part of the team,
the best part of me being a captain, I guess i was
wrong cuase she left anyway, I told
him; she felt obligated to the other team, Jim says
with confusion, if there are obligations, shouldn’t
then first, ”her obligations first be with us?” and
not the other team she barley knows. I said some people
in the APA think this is normal behavour; jumping
on teams you barley know is ok, I mean you did right?
I just
don’t
know anything anymore; we got dumped, the end. He was
probably wondering why she wasn’t
there at the bar as well to say good-bye ether; sad.
I told her man the day he opened up to me about his
life to be here today Feb 19 at paddies, maybe he forgot,
they didn’t show up any way. What ever, no big
whoop. I got tierd of talking about it already so we
did shots. Aaron showed up and so did Douglas with
his ruff-neck buddies.
Jim
is sad
he leaving,
He was telling me few personal reason why, he needs
to be home now. my school of Rumblefish are slowley
swimming away.
Played killer
afterward,
I got knocked
out in the middle
some were, and I hope Jim won. I am going
to miss Jim. He’s a Rumble fish.
Pool
with me is like fucking... if I don’t feel
like getting it up...there will be no game...err...sex...whatever;
you get the principle. I
like Heath, he’s cool. I played Heath a game
of pool. I didn’t want to, but I did. He won,
I think. Left me with all the balls on the table; I
think? I was already wobbly when he got there. I really
didn’t care to win, to shoot, to get it up get
hard and play. Didn’t
even try. His
lady was watching nonchalant with sharp urgency; I
like her; she’s brave. Showing the skills to
the guy is pointless; he beat me already when what’s-her-face
joined his team. Though I have a suspicion he is not
aware of what transpired between her and her old team
and me. Witch will probability be broken (my team)
bye the end of this season. He’s a nice guy.
I wouldn’t mind having him on my team or me on
his. We spoke, we think alike. When we spoke it was
like talking to a mirror. I didn’t bring anything
up about the stuff in the past, I felt embarrassed.
I know snow-white is talking smack to his beautiful
lady about me; she is looking at me funny,
she wants to say something but I think she is not sure.
I don’t blame her, the whole thing is dumb anyway;
spicy but dumb. Maybe I’ll get Heath a spot at
my bar and get him off that shit table he plays on
at Pool-Bag. Ronnie would like that.
Jennifer
wants to join the team yayy! She referred
to my team as that good team down there. Flattery will
get you everywhere; just kidding. Marcus also wants
to join the team, now I have a choice, better make
it before the end of the day or I will get no one.
Douglas shows up at Paddies and everybody looks
at him like the enemy. Why? He’s one of the best
guys I know. Whatever. He’s cool with me. Douglas
walks in with to ruff necks from his old hood. Look
like the kind of guys I grew up with back in my old
south Bronx days. I thought they were cool; ruff but
cool. There were lots of APA players there it humbling.
Everybody is good; though I played like I was in a
coma most of the night I know when I turn it on I can
be scary; I don’t like that sometimes. People
like a winner but they also look at you funny and always
want to challenge you.
I shot at pool hall yesterday I shot ok. Ran some tables
then I could make a ball on some next ones. My random
thoughts get in the way of my game sometimes. Its ok.
Its just pool.
5:17pm.
I was just on the phone with a teammate. I told him
I need a
break. He says, "Well if your winning
why would you need a break?" I said to him, just
because I’m winning still doesn’t mean
I need a break. I need a break. He was a little confused.
What ever.This is pretty much the mantality of most
of the APA players I know.
|
|
Any
comments?
|
|
Feb
19 Thursday
Happy
23rd BirthDay Aaron!!! 
|
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|
Aaron
on 23rd st waiting for his 23rd birthday to arrive
|
|
Happy
Birthday RumbleFish Aaron ...
Time feels like it movie a million miles a second then it feels like every minute
is and hour. I don’t know what is going on with me. I’m waiting for
something to happen. I don’t know what it is. Anyway today is Aarons Birthday
I’ll buy the pool champion a drink or two or three or four ;mwa hahahah
hahhahahha ha.
Today
is
the
final
goodbye
for
Jim
as
well.
Yesterday
at home me and my nephew watch our first “R” rated
movie together. The movie was called
Bourn Identity staring
Matt Damon and some chick that looked just
like him. It was great we laughed the whole
time. He thought that Matt Damon’s counter part in
the movie who-was-a girl looked just likes
him.
They
had the same cleft on there chins or what some
people call a but hole on the chin. My nephew
said they
were twin but holes. When matt Damon and the
girl counter part started kissing in the movie
he went
ill. My nephew is 12.
Lindsey
will be OK…
Tomorrow im going to visit my buddy Lindsey, she
is the best. I am glad she is ok. I don’t
know what I would do if anything were to
go erroneous.
4:05pm
I got another young hot
or not honey match up. I
think im going to respond to this one and see were
it goes. If there is grass on the field play ball,
just kidding. Or is it just kiddy? LOL man I kill
me.
|
|
Any
comments?
|
I
had Some faggy feelings between Wednesday night and Thursday morning.
It might have been the b-12 vitamins or maybe the Aleve. But this
song moved me |
Always
I hear... a voice say "Don't be so blind"...
it's telling me all these things...
that you would probably hide...
am I... your one and only desire...
am I the reason you breath...
or am I the reason you cry...
Always... always... always... always... always... always... always...
I just can't live without you...
I love you...
I hate you...
I can't live without you...
I breathe you...
I taste you...
I can't live without you...
I just can't take anymore...
this life of solitude...
I guess that I'm out the door...
and now I'm done with you...
http://savagemultimedia.com/saliva.htm |
 |
|
Any
comments? |
Feb
18 Wed
Lots
of something
and
a whole lot of nothing
|

|
|
|
Rachel
shoots Rachel scor....er...huh...not scores...oopps
|
|
And
the beat goes on…
Tuesday team yesterday got three points. Rachel
could of won but the other player who was a
level two got some lucky leaves; you APA players
know
how that goes. My first time managing the Tuesday
team. It was ok. Everybody is cool, My Monday
team is better though, but we are getting few,
Vinny
is very ill and doesn’t want to play this
season. I could make it with six players through
out the season but it will be ruff. I really wish
I took the season off but Ronnie and the rest of
the bar wants me around a little more now than
ever-before. I won my match yesterday, it was a
good win. That guy was from Finland. A champion.
Both teams were laughing at me yesterday for asking
him a little about his background. Nobody took
notice of the way he was standing and looking at
the table. Peter laugh at me when I said the guy
new how to shoot. He said, “How the hell
do I know that? Its his first time on the APA”.
That guy fooled everybody. I was nervous because
I knew he could shoot. Little things gave him away,
the way he chalked his stick, you can tell. What
ever. I turned him into a three when I beat him
yesterday. Right now it’s possible he
is the strongest three in the Tuesday division.
Whatever, Tried to get him on my Monday team;
he works on
Monday. Whatever. I really wish I took the
season
off.
|
Irritated
Man...4 tabs of B-12 today.
I have been so irritable lately, could be cold
related, and could be with my current situations.
Tomorrow is Aarons B-day. He hinted me about
a surprise party. I wish I had the cash to
set one up, but ill get him drunk instead at
paddies tomorrow while saying good-bye to Jim.
Ronnie is having a B-day this Sunday, I think,
lots of free food and drinks; free!!! I’ll
be there.
|
If
only Brian….
If you got a little more in-sink with the standards society
and its flaws then maybe things would be different.
If you tried to stop calculating the in-calculable
then maybe things would work out for you a little better.
Ben
Says
Be
a gentleman your whole life to women. when prick hungry,
feed them. when out of style, dress them. When they say why
don't you give me a surprise sock her colf for a change.
wake her up on the lawn where she can see her picket fence.
while you clip the grass around her pedastal getting
it ready for when she is a statue. worshipped as she waits
no longer in tears. benjamincoopersmith@hotmail.com

4:16pm Wed
I’ve just been rated from a scale of one to ten a
7.9 on Hotornot.com
Here is another sketchy aged match up." Hey uncle
William can I get a pony ride"?
Talk about mouse entrapment. Do they actually
think im going to nibble on this cheese? It flattering,
I think? But I do have
a problem meeting women my age. Most women my age look
10/12 years older than me. This was a problem I had on Valentines Day. That lady I picked up thought she was older
than me.
Until she looked in my wallet the next morning. Then she
just felt stupid. I mean, when she thought I was ten years
younger than her did she not feel a little cheap then?
I patronize the fantasy sometimes. But it always gets screwed
up when the “how old are you thing” comes in.
4:55 pm Maria says I look evil
Today on the way to work two junior high girls were checking
me out. I got mad. I need to change my look. I want a
woman to look. Not young dumb girls. I have enough of
young dumb girl interrupted girls. Gona shave a little
and trim the hair; soon. Maria wants to meet Douglas. Maria
likes Douglas and Martin. |
|
Any
comments?
|
|
Mad
world…
Rumble Fish yet again has gotten an amazing 4-point
xxxtory yesterday against Mona’s Athletic club.
Oliver Takes Command on right with a two zero win following
Aaron amazing three to two xxxtory against the over
rated Nick the level 6, Then Douglas came along with
a 4 to 2 whoop-ass against the lovely Tina Wong. Then
in the end it was a Captain William Fuentes who played
Fucken-Floyed with his last pot to piss in for the
final point on the Rumble Fish roster.
|
Did
I say I wasn’t going to
play anymore?
I really wish I wasn’t. But now Ronnie
wants me to captain his Tuesday team (Just for
today). Well, with
all the girls on the team now down to #4’s.
I should be a simple sweep. Man, what
the
hell
is going on with the APA and captain shortages.
Rumble fish will probably take the season again.
I still feel disenchanted from last season but
my players are on top of me extra hard this season
and now the players on Tuesday are pointing in
my direction for input. Why god why? Just when
I thought I was out they drag me back in. I need
help. I wish I had a rock sold co- captain. |
This mourning I was watching last American
virgin.
Instead of running out of the kitchen crying when
I saw the woman I loved kissing the guy
who knocked her
up and then dumped her I would of demanded
my 250 dollars back and stabbed the both of them
with
a butter knife.
Yup, that would have been me, a regular
Joe Pesscie from good fella’s. That guy Gary
kind of reminded me of xxxx that chick Karen;
xxxl. I think if Gary
got his 250 bucks back from that abortion
he paid for Karen then the ending wouldn’t
be so bad. What a love sick xxxtim. Boy, love
can make you do wild
things. There is no way in hell I would
hock my i-Pod for some chick’s abortion
because my buddy knocked up and thought she was
trash
after he
did it. What
kind of dummy gives her virginity away
in a football field bleacher. Why? Is there
a better
place
to loose it? Maybe-maybe not but it still
looks dumb.
Ps:
if your going to create a catchphrase, its not “traitor” its
back stabbing-little-shit-liar you dumb ass. |
|
Any
comments?
|
Feb
16 Monday
Deadly
Mayonnaise
|

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3:12
pm today is pool day...Big shit. I
have things to say; all kinds of things, just don’t
know were to begin. I learned yesterday you don’t
know what real trust is until you loose it. You
compromise one experience for another
while inadvertently selling something you cherished.
Been watching too much “L” word lately.
Someone called me last night and hung up on me.
Uh oh. Could be a number of people. Could be my
number
is up. A lot of people want to shoot me now; for
passionate reasons. Brian is talking to me as I
write; I have
no idea what I am writing. Talking about shaving,
the market, the way I look, girls,
4:52pm Talking about brains cat
eating bread. More about his stock, about his sandwich-cheese-turkey.
5:23pm Douglas emailed
me a picture his deadly mayonnaise. He left a jar
of mayonnaise
on the radiator.
|
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Any
comments?
|
|
We
opened our eyes at the same time facing each other and
stared... |
|
This
mourning she told me she was married, I
didn’t make a move, I stood perfectly
still; after she said she was married. She turned around
and started crying. I leaned over slowly to kiss
her shoulder,
and she elbowed me in the chest and said "and
I’m
not whore'! I said ouch, but I wasn’t really
hurt. She turned around and said sorry, then leaned
closer
to me and started crying. As she lay on me I laid back
and stroked her hair slowly as I feel her tears trickling
down my chest. I asked if she was hungry. “You
have to leave, my husband will be home soon,” she
answers. I knew she was lying. There was no indication
of any man living in her home. Not in the bathroom,
not in the living room, not in the bedroom, In fact
she barely had anything in her home, she did not even
have a plant. Looks like she just moved in. I waited
till she got up off of me so I can get up and get dressed.
She is touching me in a way she used to touch the other
man as she still cries. She finally got up 45 minutes
later and went to the bathroom, I put on all my cloths
but I threw my tee shirt with a logo on it that said “No
Fear” under
her bed. I went to the kitchen to rinse and wash up
then I looked in her fridge, no food. I was starving,
and my head was pounding; still got a little cold.
I waited for her in the living room by the front door.
She
came out different, like she was on guard, ready to
do battle; ready to tell me to fuck off if I thought
she was some cheap lay. Both her arms were too her
side's; she showed no fear. I walk up to her slowly
and slide my hand through her arm and waist toward
the small
of her
back
and slide my other hand behind her neck. Her hands
were still too her sides as I lean in too whisper gently
in her
ear.
When I finished telling her what she needed to hear.
We kissed gently. She asks me if I was interested in
having dinner with her tonight. Before I answered,
she lifted both or her arms and laid them on my shoulders
and wrapped around my neck and kissed me lovingly.
No I will not have dinner with her, I will probably
never see her again, but I know I helped her
let go of that other man.
10:34pm
I just showered…Showered
so long my whole body is wrinkled. Washed off the whole
last 4 days not including today. Haven’t had a
cig since Wed. I can breath deeper now. Oliver called,
he’s gona play tomorrow, so is Vinny and Ana. I
feel sexy. I learned that I am not thinking like a young
man anymore, boy was I stupid. I continue twice longer
in bed with woman now that I did when I was 23. I love
women. A woman is like a country. And the exploration
is the pleasurable part. Even it’s dangerous sometimes.
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Any
comments?
|
February
14 2004 Saturday
Happy "V" day
|

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|
|
Sentimental
people are ruled by there feeling and they are capable
of anything. |
|
9:00am
Sat
It’s
early
Lets see what kind of V-day happens for Apple Cinnamon William today. I doubt
anything will happen if I don’t go out; maybe. But let's see who remembers.
In the mean time ill write a poem, ill post it later.
Here
is my poem now...How
can you measure love without disaster?
Poem
for her…
You know what I miss… I miss "saying" how
beautiful she was, I felt alive revealing to her these
things I see
when she walks across room. I can never make up those things
I used to say. I have to see and smell and
witness to feel those loving things I used to say. I feel
like I’m missing the sunset now, I feel
like I am missing the pleasure of staring at the moon. She; “who-is” that
witch inspired me. To feel beauty and the pleaser of
telling, and then
stepping back an admiring from a far and watch it like a
sun set just to experience the anticipation to do it all
over again on the next rise.
|
3:00pm..Hey
look I got a lava life match for Valentines
Day.
I’m scared
to go out, I might reactivate my flew or cold or what ever,
still got a little headache. 4:15
pm I
better take it easy…I
know myself, if I go out, I’m gona find some friendly lady
sitting at the bar, bye her a bunch of beers and then do bad
things, I still have
a cold, my instinct is telling me something will happen if I
go out today, I must proceed with caution. But first I must imitate
my uncle Harry and shave my back for all the ladies out there.
Then I will be ready to take on the streets of New York and all
those miserable couples out there pretending to be happy with
each other on this day of meeting new people and new loves.
|
Any
comments?
|
|
Friday
Feb 13 2004 Still have the flew
or a cold or something bad.
|
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|
Still
ill...later...wait a minute...nope still ill..but
i have something to say.
The
first night of my illness I was completely drenched
in sweat and thoughts about resent
event of my life. Work, pool, money, home,
age, life. My goodness, my dreams are like something
out of a nine inch nail video. or
like that movie Seven with brad pitt. It might be
the meds
mixed
with
slight
depression,
broken heart ness, and financial difficulties witch
is most likely the culprit for my illness. This has
happened to me before. I can’t hold things
inside for long. People call me deep, what a joke;
I am more like a three-inch-deep pool. Years of Tae
Kwon Do and ring Boxing at Fort Apache only made
me tuff on the out side not the inside. I’m
soft on the inside. My difficult responsibilities
are swimming on the surface of William right now,
that is not a good thing for people to see. I have
to stay in, might even stay in on valentines
days witch I completely forgot about. Well, I might
spend
it with Aaron at Anatomy bar, holding hands and drinking
3-dollar Amstel’s. I am mixed up right now,
could be the meds, one second I want to say something
to her and the next I hate her. I miss her and I’m
glade she is gone. First I dial “1” then
the area code then the number, but I always stop
just before hitting the seventh number. Then I hang
up. What am I talking about? I don’t know,
right now I’m on meds.
|
Six
Demon Bag...If you mix Advil with nighttime NightQuil
and few other
minor meds like Predicell, Dimetapp, assprin, pian
killers, prozac and what ever you can see things
no one else can see, you can hear
things no
one else can hear. It’s amazing.
Just
wanted to add...When I went to work on Wed, Neil
didn’t
even acknowledged my illness, which bothered me.
He
new I shouldn’t
been working but he’ll be dammed to hell
if he does a full 8 eight-hour shift.
So he left without even saying good-bye to me.
Whatever,
I’m underpaid anyway. That’s another
thing that bothering me, were the fuck is my
god dam raise? |
|
|
Any
comments? |
Thursday
Feb 12 2004
Still have the flew or a cold
or something bad.
Still
ill...later
|

|
|
Any
comments? |
|
Wednesday
Feb 11 2004
I
have the flew or a cold or something
bad.
|
|
|
A
very nice clear day makes my cold tolerable... |
|
FEED
A COLD, STARVE A FEVER?? OR VICE
VERSA??
*
I woke up dying. My head is pounding and many of my
muscles ache. I thought I was going to stay home. I
was a wrong, looks like nobody came in to work today
because of the same thing. So I picked my self up and
went to work. I knew this was going to happen after my
APA match yesterday on Ronnie’s Tuesday
team. I won, I beat some level "6" dude (3
to 1) and then I threw up chicken soup in the bathroom.
*
Crissy wants to get back on the team. She
came by the bar yesterday and she looked good. She
said she regretted leaving the team for-her-being-angry-reasons.
And she might want to start again. Hooray, she wants
to come back. Wow, all I need is Henry and I got my
old crew back. What a dream that is. I think ill call
Henry.
|

On
medicine right now
|
|
Just
a moment...It'll pass.
Pic taken at 2:57pm outside of the lab Feb 11 2004 on my way over to
starbucks for a Chi tea latte. William with the flew/cold. Still dreaming
in his wake. Dream walking, could be the flew making me dizzy or to
week to suppress my feelings I feel like crying, but I wont, I’m
to tuff for that. I am not a crybaby, even though someone told me that
once. It's a nice day, nothing in my bones. My head is pounding and
my nose is running. Gota drop off the sheet today. Douglas owes me
21 bucks.
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Yesterday
Ronnie was on my ass about my game. A lot of people would
get nervous about this behavior during there match but for
some reason it does not bother me. He was talking a lot about
how good he got; he does that a lot. I don’t think
he realizes the extra presser he puts himself in when he
does this. Meaning; when it comes time for him to play all
that talk now needs to have a lot of walk. If he cant walk
it then all that talk was bull shit. I never beat my own
drum about my game, it’s bad karma.
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Any
comments? |
Feb
10 Tuesday
About
the Anatomy
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Well
well well…
Rumble fish has yet again gotten a 4-point win for yesterdays
(Monday) match at Anatomy bar. A Phat-Sexy-I’m-in-love-with-little-place
with free hot dogs, popcorn suicide girls and 3-dollar Amstels
almost all night. Even Douglas likes it; Looks like William’s
got another bar hang out on his list of regular hangouts.
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Spencer
that bastard is so lucky; he has an authentic
Suicide Girl on his
team. She is way rad. One
of the original first 5. I new she was one the second I
laid
eyes on her, clear skin, hour glassy, shiny black hair,
covered in tattoos, Just all together hot. 
Hmmm.
Spencer's team is pretty sexy, a little to sexy. i wonder were
he found these people?
A girl
told me once my team wasn't sexy. She was wrong. We are
way sexy. |
Aaron the winner |
Brian the winner |
Douglas the winner |
William
the winner |
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How
full of shit am I. I said I wasn’t going to play
this season and here I am still playing, It’s different
now though. I don’t sense the negative energy element
that was there before. Hmmm. I almost feel like I have
a new team. My team wont let go, and Aaron said it lovely
yesterday before he left the train car, its pretty lame
to quit because the going gets ruff, it shows bad form
and how weak you are. Aarons B-day is on the 19th of this
month. Gota get him drunk…again.
I
had no idea Douglas was such a talented artist.
He did a portrait of me yesterday while I was shooting,
he is so talented, and special. I love him to death. His
vision of me is so accurate it's mind-boggling.
This portrait is almost clone-like; it's like looking
in a mirror except, it is more of a revealing life
style. Here's
to you Douglas old
buddy.
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Brian
still hanging in there with Rumble fish. I cant wait
till
he puts together his own team one day. Gather his own
players and keep em together through tuff times as
well as
hard times along with arrogant player times and players
who think they know more than you and players who go
on other teams behind your back and players who want
to play first and players who are broke and players who
get mad when they dont play and players who complaine
all the time and players who are always mad and players
who are always late and players who dont show up
and players who........bla...bla...bla...bla...bla...cant
wait. |
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Any
comments?
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| February
9 2004 Monday 12:59pm
Phases
of the Moon
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1:30pm
Monday-Funny...I don’t
have an erg to smoke...and I put on two pounds. Boy
this past weekend was one of the most interesting weekends
so far this year, I’m sure there will be more. It was
a full moon this past weekend. Anyway, its funny how that dude
wanted
to open up to me when it was to late. But I think he had different
motivations other than just opening up to me.
And that other guy who wanted to kick my ass because his horney
girl freind was
scamming
me.
I think
I have
said this before, people usually learn something valuable when
it’s too late. I did, many times over.
2:12pm
Monday-Today
Rumble
fish will play Spencer’s brand new spanking
team…
*
I wonder who will show up? I might not, then again I didn’t show up last
week and we won. Hmmm, this means something.
3:46pm-
Monday Lawyer fee...again
Did I say something about Karma earlier? I just lost 631dollars
on a stupid lazy mistake. Jeez, I’m right back were I stared
from!!! I need a second job. Fred Garvin move over William Fuentes
Male prostitute.
4:45pm-Monday-
I gota update the Rumble fish pool website. APA people in
Division 5 get on there more often than I thought.
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Yon
rising Moon that looks
for us again— How oft hereafter will she wax and wane; How oft hereafter
rising look for us Through this same Garden—and for one in vain!
Any
comments? |
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Saturday
7 2004
BEER
ZOMBIES |
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Dawn of the dead
*
The first time you drank heavy with your loved one it was
great. She/he was all over you. You guys went out again,
it was the same thing again, then that’s when you
thought, “hey
he/she is ok when they drink”. you'll accepts the
crude alcoholic behavior. Right up until the point were
your
relationship becomes a little rocky and then you go out
and drink again. |
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This
girl was hanging all over me yesterday. Then her
man walked in. He said to me "what the fuck am
I doing with his girl", I told him what the fuck is she
doing sitting on my lap? Her girl freind walked her away.
Both were laughing at the whole thing.
Good
luck little brother |
Booze
is a truth serum?…Suck my rooster with that bull
Sh!# I
didn’t
drink yesterday, thank goodness. Yesterday the bar
was like a co-ed college locker room full of drunken
women and young boys who
blow there load way to soon with the female drunken
species.
A mess. Don’t get involved
or commit to a loyal hettaro one on one only relationship
with women/men or girls/boys who drink too much. If
you learn this after the fact that your women (or man)
likes
to drown her/his h eadaches
in booze then you’ve
been xxxtimized by your own social inexperience’s.
If you new this about your woman (or man) already (the
fact that she/he drinks to a point were she/he is
incoherent to the relationship she/he was involved
in a few hours
before she/he started counting 99 bottle of beer
on the wall) and hope you’re still that same
man/woman you still are when she/he first met you.
Then your
living a dream buddy. Unless you’re into you’re
girl/boy or woman/man screwing around behind your
back. Then its ok.
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When
your drunk; lust sometimes commits to you’re
immediate desire not to your spouse in a bar full of good-looking
people. Then again what do I know about relationships.
For the last month I’ve been getting the same ol “don’t
tell my boyfriend we hung out today, oh! And also don’t
tell him we spoke on the phone ether”. I almost
considered being gay after being told that yesterday.
But I heard
the gay community is just as bad even worse sometimes
due to the silly discrimination issues. |
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....
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Any
comments? |
February
6 2004 Friday 4:27pm
T.
P. A. D (Transitional Pool table Adaptation
Disorder)
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weather; cold wet slushy and pretty
hot pouring that drink |
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Michelle
went to the pool hall and tore this guy a new one…
She was pretty on. Running tables from Break to Eight.
From break to nine. Then when we got to the bar (on the
bar table) for an APA match she couldn’t make a
ball. She has the skills but I have seen this before,
not only with Michelle, but also with the best-shot makers
I know on the APA, George, Douglas, MGM, Lappy,
Myself, and a whole slew of others. Even the most advanced
players suffer from a thing I like to call
T. P. A. D (Transitional Pool table Adaptation Disorder) |
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The
transition between the two…
*
Yesterday I occurred to me. Why the hell am I beating
people up in the pool hall, advanced pool players. And
when I
get on the bar table I miss balls and get beat by people
who
can’t even hold the cue stick correctly. In the
beginning I used to spend more time on the bar table
and less time
in the pool hall. Then when I discovered I can advanced
my game on the bar table by practicing in the pool hall
my bar
game went up. I was doing drills and exercises in the
pool hall for the bar table. Then I stopped doing that
and just
hung out in the pool hall disregarding the bar table.
I figured if im good on the big table the small table
should be a peace
of cake so why bother practing, I should just play. That’s
when my bar game went down. The last couple of months I have
been spending more time in the bar and less time the pool
hall, my bar game went up and I have dragged along my knowledge
from the pool hall to the bar table. I went to the pool hall
yesterday and shot like I always do, then I went to the bar
and spent an equal amount of time on the table as well. That’s
when I realized the problem with transitions between the
pool hall table and the bar table. I won’t share what
the secret is but one thing is for sure, 50/50 should be
spent on both bar table and pool hall table if you don’t
want to suffer the iniquitous T P A D. |
Transitions…The
Big and Small
Weather its from the bar table to the pool hall
table or a tight pocket table to a regular
pocket table,
tempering the transitions is key. To make the transition
as short as possible. Respect everything equally
and enjoy the privileges and the givens from
your developed
experiences from each aspect of the game of pool.
Provided you have given equal time for everything.
Knowledge;
One thing doesn’t make you better for the other
it just makes it new. |
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Michelle came to visit me at my job today.
That was cool. She’s Goth, but wont admitted it. I like her
Iguana. She really needs to get her Iguana laid though.
She can content him but so much before he goes “hey,
I got two of these things to satisfy not one”
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....
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Any
comments? |
February
5 2004 Thurday 2:58pm
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Dry,
wet, hollow... |
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The
tip of my tongue…
*
There has to be something more to life than just this.
I think, maybe, I did something evil in a previous
life. I have this restriction of living to my potential
feeling again. Like some unknown force is preventing
me from moving forward. What am I doing? Were is it
all going? Maybe I am drama queening again. It’s
not a full moon though. I haven’t eaten break
feast yet ether. I always get this hollow feeling when
I get over the-love-thing. It doesn’t happen
to me often; getting over being in love. But I do remember
this feeling; like it was yesterday. The last love
I got over I didn’t have a girl friend for over
ten years. I dated a lot though, but couldn’t
trust any of them.
*
The problem with men is…
*
When a guy gives a girl an orgasm he thinks he’s
Jesus. Women are better capable of dumping a good lay
than a man is. A lot of men think “I did it to
my women good” I feel secure, she will be loyal
now; wrong. Young guys have a lot to learn about women.
Peeing
on the Wild-Flower
That
poor guy yesterday, I already knew what that relationship
was all about the moment I made eye contact with
his lady at the club. She
sickened me. Most guys would have jumped at the
chance to hit on that guys girl;
I instead felt like buying him a drink and telling
him he can do better.
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The
Wild flower and the Prince
*
Yesterday I went to this club with my buddy. A small out of the way place
in the meat packing district were Celebes and other type of people who are
involved
with the public got to hide and have a good time socializing with out getting
ask for an autograph. There was a pool table there. And there was this girl.
She
walked in with her boy friend, her boy friend was hot. She kept aiming in
my direction even though I was dressed like a truck loader in the Bronx.
She kept
smiling and watching me play pool while her good looking man kept talking
to her like she was really paying attention; not. He went to the men’s
rooms, she got up off the bar stool holding the drink he bought her, walked
over to
my buddy sitting at the drink table by the pool table I was playing on by
my self. She asks if he wanted to play pool. Now, I’m the one playing
on the pool table by my self he’s not, and she asks him; whatever.
I looked away just as she turned to me and said hi, I said hi back but didn’t
look her in the face. My buddy said ok let’s play. She’s really
slick. She was trying to pull that lets play double shit when her boyfriend
comes out of the men’s
room. I put the stick on the pool table and went outside to smoke. I smoked
a whole cig; slowly, had a conversation with the bouncer, before I went back
inside.
I walked in and saw a little bit of a tiff happening at the pool table between
my buddy and the hot guy. There were words coming from the hot guy like “did
you ask her to play or did she ask you to play”? I walked over closer
to the pool table with out saying a word and the guy looks at me and says; “oh
I see…well
that’s
it…I’m leaving”. His girl friend looked surprised, she
didn’t
expect him to make a move like that. S he
looked at me cross with a I lost out on good thing just now, and she left
with him. That was one cliché thrown
out the window before it even began.
* |
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PS.
I’m in trouble now... I gota get ballet tickets for me
and Stephanie...gulp…We had a few drinks, and I learned
a few new things about her. She has a very intresting history.
And I see her now in a whole new light.
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Any
comments? |
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February
4 2004 Wed
the
L word
means "Meow" |
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.Pool.
Beer. chicks, lindsy and the edge...More details later |
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Tuesday…Meow
Mix and Edge bar ugly. 
24 frames a second is within the norm of fluid smooth moving visuals in a film
or digital movie camera. If you use 12 frames a second, your images will stutter
and
look jumpy. If you drink two bloody Maries 4 Amstel lights two Budweiser’s
and a whole lot of tequila shots life will look like 6 frames a second.
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Meow
Mix
Was pretty drunk when we went to meow mix. It was Karaoke night. They had some
cuties “L” words in there. Got more drunk with Michelle and Mike,
watched some singing and bumbled out of there at about 1:30am. Went to the home
base bar, that’s when things got crazy. Everybody was drunk there, and
I mean everybody. George was there and he told me he joined some team at ace
bar on Tuesday. At the bar, the girls were giving me free shots all night, people
like to see
me drunk. Whatever. At about 2:00am the bartenders were dancing on the
bar tables like
it was coyote ugly, these people were on something;
so was I. I got ripped. Ill get into details later about the things that happened
yesterday.
Good
shot After
work I went strait to Julep bar to watch
Ronnie’s team shoot. Michelle is
good. I walked in and saw Snow whites "seventh"
hanging at the bar; bad karma. Then I had
two
Bloody Maries and a shot.
To
tired to write 5:53pm
I got home at 4:30am in the mourning and still managed to make it to work on
time, dam im good. More details later. |
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Any
comments?
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February
3 2004 Tuesday
Well-ladee-freeken-da
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.Pool.
Beer. chicks, Douglas is now a cab driver.... |
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1:30pm
Tuesday about yesterday.
Looks
like Rumble
Fish did it again with a 5 to zero
win. They killed that other team. And I wasn’t
even there when it happened. Looks like the team can
handle things with out the !@#$% and me. Brian is
back down to a three. Aaron, Douglas, Anna, Oliver
and Vinny can handle the pressure. It didn’t
occur to me that everybody (save but Oliver) are experienced
players
and when the heat is on the bodies cool for a smooth
xxxtory.
*
Six Amstels.. One for each point…I think…
*
I closed the lab at 10:30pm yesterday and floated over
to the bar. The games were already done and I bought
myself a beer. Then Valerie the bar tender bought me
a beer, Then the captain of the other team Rumble Fish
beat up bought me a beer and then Spencer walked in
and bought me a beer for helping him with his computer
problem. Did I mention lance bought me a beer and Adam
bought me a beer. I didn’t have Turkey butt burgers
to save me from beer over load. Well one beer lead
to another and I was plastered on a Monday night 1:00am
in the mourning at bar. Just call me George. My head
is pounding.
*
I
saw Stephanie yesterday. Mmmmmm. She's
beautiful when I’m sober. Do
you know how she looks to me when I’m
drunk? Dangerous. I’m
not going to drink anymore. Or at least
not this mourning.
"Time
to take a break from the APA",ZZZzzzZZzzzZZ.
I have said this already, and I am,
but, my team
winning
without
me, hmm, there is something about
that that bothers me a little. Not to much
though.
Still, I could
of sworn the !@#$%% and me were
the fire of the team. I guess not. Whatever.
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They
did it without me, perhaps I created something
more than I realized. Good. |
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Any
comments?
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February
2 2004 Monday
Hookey No
APA for me today... |
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Staying
away from the APA today...let someone else handle it |
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Sneak
attack....
People, They do strange things. Don’t you hate
it. Don’t you love it.
Everybody around me suddenly seems dead. Fake, superficial.
No I take that back. I feel, I don’t know what
I’m
feeling. Scared maybe. I see things too much. If I
was blind it might be better. No it won’t. Love,
I’m scared of love.
Arrogant,
naive, unaware, wrong...6:30pm
It scared the shit out of me today. Somebody told me the same thing that random
people have been telling me for the last couple of months; “you know
William, your always Fucken right”.
A girl told me today at my job, “Your never wrong William your always right” and
she says it sarcastically, even after I tried to help her when she asked for
it. She needed help, she asked for it, upon doing so she got angry with me. Like
she thought I was trying to make her look stupid or something. I have heard this
before. More than once. That scared me. I did not know I came off that way. Maybe
I don’t leave room for error. Or I should let error go. I feel dull right
now. I think for a long time I have had the nasty habit of always correcting
people when a correction is not the answer. Life right now is getting scary,
wonderful, passionate, dangerous and long. Passion. People, They do strange things.
Don’t you hate it? Don’t you love it?
8:00pm Hot
or Not wants my money, I'm getting to many responses
from teenage girls. Should I trust em with my credit
card? Naaa.
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Any
comments?
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February
1 2004 Sunday
"All
things sweet and delicious are bad for you,
so you might as well eat it’
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Tired,
back ache, pay bills. and a zit. |
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Feb
1 2004 1:23pm Sunday
afternoon.
I went
to the store, got four things. A box of Total, milk,
oatmeal and eggs. Walked over To the express
line. Behind me were two pleasantly full figured
women with lots of chocolates candies
and all sorts of different things of sweetness. As
I wait my turn on the line, I
listen to the two large Venus like beauties behind
me talk about there health
and how they are feeling right now. One of them said, “you
think we should put some of this back, I think we might
be over doing it” the other laughed and followed
with,” all things delicious are bad for you,
so you might as well eat it’. I
will not forget this.
I
am bleeding... again...7:11pm
I
have an erg to whisper in her ear, “I new what
you were before I new who you were”. I miss her
sweet fragrance, her lovely walk and figure, her wicked
stare when she goes down.
I hate her for being these things. these things that
I love. Its so hard. to keep away. Im almost tempted
to follow. But it will lead to more of the unwanted.
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Any
comments?
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Click
the Image and see the trailer or go to the website UnFaithful |
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12:22
am
I
think I’ll start this month with writing about
something a little personal a little sexy and little…well
you make the call. I touched myself today, to
see if it’s working correctly. Then I watched
a movie yesterday afternoon on cable. Un-faithful-the
movie
is called. It got me hot; then it scared me. I related
to the young guy in the movie, but when he was murdered.
This movie portraying the extremities of love and faithfulness
and what it can do to a person is spooky. When somebody
is unfaithful to there partner loved one or whatever,
there is no control anymore, even when you think you
are in control.
Your
not driving and you don’t
know what can happen. Have I been in control these
last couple of months? If
I haven’t, who cares. This is me now.
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Any
comments?
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