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May 1st 2007
Tuesday |
you
will see me... |
April 23rd
2007 Monday |
you
wont see me... |
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Threw you the obvious and you,
Flew with it on your back, a, Name in your recollection,
Down among a million same, Difficult not to feel a little
bit, Disappointed, and passed over, When I look right through,
To see you naked but oblivious, And you don't see, Me
But I threw you the obvious just
to, See if there's more behind the, Eyes of a fallen angel,
Eyes of a tragedy
Here I am expecting just a little
bit, Too much from the wounded, But I see, see through it
all, See through, see you
'Cause I threw you the obvious
to, See what occurs behind the, Eyes of a fallen angel, Eyes
of a tragedy
Oh well, Oh well, Apparently nothing,
Apparently nothing at all
You don't, you don't, you don't
see me, You don't, you don't, you don't see me, You don't,
you don't, you don't see me, You don't, you don't, you don't
see me, You don't see me, You don't, You don't, You
don't see me at all
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April 20
21 22nd 2007 last fri-sat-sun |
I’m
going to be in Vegas for a bit few days, do’n
that pool thang. My next entry will be next week
some time, peace. CLICK
the numbers, FOR SOME HISTORY > 03, 02, 01, 12
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Pizza time
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After Remo got all runny-d'uh-table
on me |
I dined with JQ |
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Saranii, got all get'n d'uh ball
in d'uh hole |
not on me though |
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dukey ladies |
like to play pool |
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Shoot it |
Saranii |
... |
CLICK
the numbers, FOR SOME HISTORY > 03, 02, 01, 12
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The long track
|
Jae, for brunch, lunch and cake... |
Then I lost a leg |
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"When you got my feeling move'n, like, all around inside, and they-aint-any-kinds of words, to describe-dem-feel'ns, then, I'm just too cool, to tell you how much I love you, dats all....see..." Jae said somtin like dat. |
broken
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Broken
man hole ...
The
whole getting dumb-numb thing, booze, drunk, fun. Is
not quite what it was before. Sure, its fun, to drink,
I know all about, youth, birth, very young. Ya-know, it
seems like this year so far, I’m boozed up as much
as I am not. Its getting so, that, the get high on liquor
thing, is turning into just another state of mind; or attitude,
its not up, its not down, its more like a subtle personality
side step adjustment. It is not an escape anymore is what
I’m saying, writing,
blogging; whatever. Which is fine, really, but its kind
of nice to at least have the option of forgetting for a
while, about, work, people, places, moments. But now, with
the drinking, work, people, issues, those little things,
I am trying to put aside in the mind for awhile, in my
drunken state, is moving, not in that,‘forget for
awhile place’ in my brain,
instead, it is moving to my stomach, its not hunger. I
kept it simple, these last two days with the booze, I drank,
I got buzzed and kept it as a light buzz, even still, its
not like before though. So what’s the point? Any
way, I think it’s better to be happy and fed before
you get lofty, than it is to not be. I’m
going to be in Vegas for a bit few days, do’n that
pool thang. My next entry will be next week some time,
peace.
CLICK
the numbers, FOR SOME HISTORY > 03, 02, 01, 12 |
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April 20th
2007 about Thursday night |
ABC.
D+ |
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Back
Mikey Shots
Supadra
Sushi is good for the, huh, belly?
...
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it owns you...
Even if she, is, all
these things, things, you prefer not to be a part of,
if she has one thing, one quality, so subtle, so un-noticed
by most, but only by you. That one thing, washes all
the other things, things you perfer not to be a part
of, away...
Mind you I'm not talking
about Supadra, or anybody else in the entry below. This
was just a thought, I had watching the matches last night.
Pool can really expose
things about you, thnigs you'd rather not anyone else
see...
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Mom |
Olga. Do'n the Willi-Eye Brow... |
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... |
Howie |
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Sean Morgan. Alaska |
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Brian, Smith |
Helen and some Booty. |
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April 19th
2007 about Wednesday. Get ready |
Mojito,
Practice, ABC |
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It all about staying down
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Supadra stays
down on her shot |
... |
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Supadra finishes her shot by staying
down.... |
... |
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....So does Gail |
... |
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Gail breaks |
Dont come up. |
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Tony T tells me about people who
have no out. |
You cant describe depth in words. |
J and me havwe a very high self esteem
I ate Sushi with Jason down town
I realized today... I give people, out's,
many times.
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Supadra goes down, on the shot.
J tells
me, she thinks, some blogs, are a form of mental masterbation,
I think, J doesnt like my blog.
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April 18th
2007 about Tuesday Late night |
Chalk
Line |
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April 17th
2007 Tuesday early evening |
willb,
illju lieakigen; evereric. 666 |
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April 17th
2007 Monday Night |
.... |
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I’m not going to sit, bitch and moan,
at least I hope I don’t seem to be right
now. But, I’m going to say this, once again.
“Never make, anyone, a priority
if your are there option”
I have thrown this in the face
of many people before, yesterday, it was thrown
in my face, hard, you would think, I learned this
from experience already over the years, but the
thing with that motto is, you forget, that, first
priority, is an option that is random, too suite
the convenience of the choice-maker, not you, who
are not a priority. One is responsible for there
actions; no matter what. As a pool captain, 5 years,
one of my concerns is the result of my actions,
during, my organization for team Rumble fish-Get
In the Hole. Value is consequence, consequence
is not good or bad; though, the austerity of
it will never change, no matter what ones raison
d'être
for it is. If you commit, while, you are fully
aware of the consequence of your pretense, weather
it be good or bad, benefiting or costly, you, one,
are responsible for it, no matter the reason, excuse
or unfortunate circumstance forcing ones choice. |
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“Never make, anyone,
a priority
if your are there option”
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A motto that works, but
not always to your convenience.
Predicting
and weighing the consequence of what one
decides to do, most of the time, has no time
constraint, unless, ones natural instinct
is in order for an immediate decision for
action, meaning, a
car is coming, fast, she doesn’t see
it, push her out of the way, do this act,
without thinking, can illustrate ones nature;
thinking about pushing her out of the way
when there is no time to think? Can also
be used to get the message of ones nature.
If one is able to for see the consequence
of ones act, committed with an option attached
to time? To change that circumstance of consequence?
One is still responsible for their action,
even if it is or is not preventable. Ones
priorities should always be filtered with
consideration of any class of consequences.
Maybe this is how one can see, how one is
perceived as ether a priority, or an option. |
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Monday |
Get In The Hole |
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... |
... |
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April 16th
2007 Monday Morning |
This
past weekend |
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The outside layer is
thick and soft
The inside is thin and healthy |
On
Friday. D’uh big sandwich. |
Mocha and bread good |
I played pool,
there was this dude, at ABC, he got on my nerve.
Then I left. I like eating, I like drinking,
I like people, but I don’t like crowds.
I like Mocha once in a blue. A good sandwich
and change of pace, once in a green. Ying and
yang 8 or 9, its all goes round and round. 256,
256, makes 512, but you need at least, 1000,
to get the simple things going smoothly.
On Saturday.
Too and fro.
I borrowed
my brother’s car, and drove into the city.
Did you ever have one of those days were you
just don’t feel like applying, or by means
of, via, the right application, for bowdlerization
particular kinds of mind-state and people-media?
Say, act as if, to be ok, with complete and udder
bullshit? Tolerance is my middle name, WTF, I
detest small talk, the weather, latest sports
cast, petty gossip, lately, some days; I just
don’t feel like commencing with silly bullshit.
Kali, I addressed her beauty first, than her
name second. I feel the rain, pending; on Saturday
night, up high in the atmosphere, grey, but not
low on the ground? He said to me, about her,
there is something there but something missing.
Jennie, is so far-far away. I was completely
free of squabbling with my natural sense of compulsion,
for consumption, I think it best, to just stop
eating bad food for awhile. I drank, then, Captain
Morgan with Naldo.
On
Sunday… I'll write about it later....about
the rain. |
|
I like
people, but I don’t like crowds. I like Mocha
once in a blue.
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Caroline Pao | caroline-pao.com *
billiard-life.com
| Robert Salazar * |
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... |
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April 14th
2007. Sat. About Thursday night... |
... |
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Wall of bling
Cha cha cha
Caroline-Pao.com | Up shortly
Tony Robles, Mosconi Cup.
Leaky
Watch
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The Cookie was mine, not Howies. |
Goes places in life? Yeah, like
Vegas, ta-lose-u'r loot |
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Supa and Gina |
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WTF |
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The Boys |
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... |
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... |
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... |
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Caroline Pao |
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... |
Another great moment, for my Holly's
hieny collection. |
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April 12th
2007. Thinking Thursday Morning |
24
months later |
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4/18/05
I distinctly remember saying to Dor,---- |
"One
day, your going to win that vegas pool
thang" |
All
this Internet blog writing has been very restorative
to this painting, facing the wall, long contained
by time. On the 11th of April 2007, for about
a large percent of that day, since my waking
up out of bed, my eyes prefer to be, closed,
literally, my eyes just close, without me willing
it on a conscious level, there is no sleepiness’ ether,
they just close. It is like, meditating, everything
is quite in my mind, then, I get quick little
torrent of back peddling thoughts, then calm
comes again, it is weird and wonderful. I have
been missing the ball in playtime, but in game
time I have not been missing the ball. Jay, the
new bar tender, is like the sun, I stared her
right in the eyes today, just to see through
her windows, and the glare, the light, it was
bright, to much for my eyes, to continue staring
through the beautiful windows, I do that, sometimes,
stare, quickly, in people, just to see there
splendor, whats ahead. Jason came over to shoot,
Jason is putting the ball in the hole, Larry
is good, so is KC. ABC I saw Jackie, I got hungry,
I saw Stuart, I went to eat, I saw Jackie, I
said that already, its raining outside, I found
an umbrella, thanks to the sun for lighting the
way. This whole entry is based on this one thought
I had today, It came in, and it reeked so badly,
like a festering laceration, I shook it off quickly,
in just four foot steps on the sidewalk, it was
gone, in-between these lines. I can’t find
it anymore. Some things in its place, that’s
making it, erase; it’s
me, Its I, eye, eyes. That’s all that was
left. Dorothy is going to Vegas, she won the
APA Singles Regional 2007. Eye goe-thru-low
I days for months at a time. |
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Eye
goe-thru-low I days for months at a time,
like looking, seeing thru Smoke
a Shot`
My eyes are burning
looking in you too long. Thats a good thing. |
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"People take what they
want, when they want it, but don’t
know how to put it back when they are done with it"
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April 11th
2007 |
About
Tuesday Night |
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Poor man's Sushi
Dont make me Mad!!!!!
POW!!!!!
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Lasting impressions
If you’re in the right, or feel you
are in the right, then why would you stand
down? Action speaks louder than words,
most always, in my opinion. Maintain your
dignity, and self-respect in tense matters.
In the long run, that will be, what the
majority of your peers, friends and loved
ones will recollect, when something in
past is evaluated for ones considered wisdom
during a game of scrabble. I make efforts
to avoid creating embarrassing visual impressions
of a scene to be remembered, later, when
it comes to my maturity, responsibility
and professionalism, being judged during
my adult life, or least I have tried not
to get embarrassed.
I have once or twice, thrown a
fit, cried in public, break a hole in the
wall, shatter glass or have done something
physical or verbal, that will have a longer
lasting impression, then the reason for
making that impression in the first place.
Emotions, never to tamed by logic, but
can be controlled with wisdom. |
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Tina Vasquez |
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... |
Heather Hatt |
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... |
Baby Hatt |
Michelle
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I have once or twice, thrown
a fit, cried in public, break a
hole in the wall, shatter glass
or have done something physical
or verbal, that will have a longer
lasting impression, then the cause or reason
for making that impression in the
first place. Emotions, never to
be tamed by logic, but can be controlled
with wisdom. |
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April 10th
2007 Tuesday. About Monday Night. |
Signs |
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These two Pics. June/April 2006
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What you are,
and how you are perceived can sometimes be two different
things.
She looks so serious, he looks
like a peaceful, calm looking man. He looks broke,
candy colored clothing, looks pop punk. That dude
looked kind of like a thief, he’s got game?
He does not look like he’s
got game. That’s Grady Mathews? Man, with his
rep, I thought he look a lot more, well, I can take
that guy. Shoes can tell a lot about a person, at least
I think, what kind of a person, would want to be uncomfortable
all day just to look good? Unless, looking good dilutes
the-my feet hurt feeling.
Looking out the window, bar,
sidewalk, sunny day, spring, busy street, killer
on Monday night, me, AJ. If she were 20 pounds lighter
I’d nail her, oh
yeah; hm? If she was 30 pounds lighter… wait,
if she was 30 pounds lighter? If she was 30 pounds
lighter, do you think she let you nail her? LOLJ. Sometimes
people would say, “I’d go for that person”,
but would that person go for you? Who ever is your
taste, or type, you state in some random moment in
conversation, you, might wonder, are you their type?
I wonder, if I’m that guys/girls type?
This is a less narcissistic scrutiny without hurting
yourself to badly. If, you are attracted to
someone, who is, you feel, is your type, step back,
looking at the bigger picture, you might also consider,
would they say or think the same about you? You start
to look at your cloths, your hair, your skin, and your
self. Taking notice of this might help one see, how
they are perceived, by familiar outside eyes. What
if you’re engrossed
with their character? Blue on the outside, green on
the inside, green, your favorite color, but think blue
is to easy, less challenging for a satisfying success
for you’re metal, one-dimensional. He hates her,
he loves her, he loves to hate her, and he hates being
in love with her, so not her type, still… I
was in a relationship once, the outside was wonderful,
but the inside was, well, challenging, no consequence
for failure, really. I always love a good challenge, “love
a good challenge”? Love her or love the challenge?
Only when the reward is a lot better than a free trip
to Vegas. I wonder why I don’t look like
my preferred standards? For some, it is a
self-esteem issue? Maybe
it is easier to set yourself up for a fall than it
is for a flight, flights can be cancelled. |
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Get In The Hole
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Monday, Mark |
Nick |
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Chris
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Anja, Jay, J's Dude
friend |
Nick |
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Dougals, Pete, Petes dude friend.
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April 8th
2007 Sunday |
Frozen
Eggs |
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Happy Easter.
Crack, like an egg.
It snowed today, in the afternoon, sunny and cold-it
still snowed. The first person I thought of, during
that strange moment, snow, flakes in the sun, on
and Easter afternoon, cold and crisp, white flurries
move quickly in the cold breeze exposing the sunrays
of the cold Easter afternoon.
It’s so-so
heavy; I'm like a junkie. I am a junkie; I need
my fix, so bad, is this closure? So cold. I don’t
chase, I’ve done it too much in my youth,
he never came around, like a spy, fatherless.
If I keep myself busy, I forget, drown myself
with people places and events, keep moving, keep
busy. Times goes by, time will tell. Happy Easter
to you…
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All he did was gamble, play poker,
drink and play pool. If you don’t react to
other peoples emotional reactions, maybe you are
disguising old emotions that might not be relevant
to their immediate reaction, you’ll over react
or not react at all if you do respond with a little
feeling. Cold. This is what a therapist friend of
mine said to me yesterday on line, at about three
in the morning. I don’t need a therapist, cause
I don’t hold in my emotions, much, I let-em
out, my feelings, when I feel it is appropriate. |
Hit the 57
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On
good friday, I ate a burger, so did Jason...
Then I got ill...
Geezus, I wonder why? |
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Why
do some women think men are jerks when
they don’t take
their criticism personal? Or any kind of
personal criticism from them, personal? Oh,
I see, I’m
removing myself to feel superior, cause
I’m
scared to show or feel emotions. One who
is witnesses to or involved in a traumatic
incident in childhood can experience heavy
stress in common emotional communication
later in their adult life during social
connections; personal or not so personal. |
In my youth, my father
was not around much, so I didn’t get
much fatherly attention when I was younger, but, when
he did give attention, it was not very bonding, in
fact in was kind of stupid, criticizing. He moved and
lived on his own terms, timing, pace and speed, with
out considering the consequences of how it would affect
others, who were involved with him on intimate levels,
like my mom, like his children, like me; cool. My grand
mother subsituted for my dad. I miss my grandma. |
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April 6th
2007 Friday |
About
last wednesday and thursday april 4th 5th 2007.. Emo..Drama..call
your mamma |
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The first step towards improvement is
to admit you need improvement.
Zen, fire, zire.
"How much is a win or a lose really worth
if your still going to play again afterward anyway"?
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You will always be judged, if you play in a manner
that is highly admired or loathly undesired, if you
win or lose, no matter the judgment, one thing is
for sure, your still going to play.
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Michele Li, Dress Up Baby!/BCA, Kiss of Death, Ladies BCA |
Beauty happens very quickly, sometimes.
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Moments |
Its not easy being green.
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Vexed |
Liability is not always conventional.
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Keep going |
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Wed
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For lunch?
Chicken Catch-a-Tori |
Yummy |
Food and drink |
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She |
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ABC
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Wine |
... |
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For dinner, Chicken Tandor Combo |
with Abby |
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April 5th
2007 Thursday |
About
last Tuesday april 3rd 2007 |
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Thumb in pocket
It was all just a blur.
My last two Tuesday matches
drew blood...
Tie, Silk, soft and
gentle, feels good to the touch, corduroy is ruff and strong,
soft on the inside of the loops, tuff on the out side of
the silk, what a lucky star i am...
Julie in pants |
Dave
KALI
insync
Eric
The bad awsome shot
Pete, maybe next time dont
wear a bra... An inside joke. |
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I can recognize
beauty, so much, I forget were and when I'm-at-and-am,
she can be, so, devastating, It is like, a sudden trip,
to a place, were the only place is her. Sometimes,
a woman can be devastating for just random moments at
a time, a man will Stick around, waiting, for those,
tripy random moments. |
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Happy Drink |
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Forget
what you know when you start over. |
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Some of my closest
friends are women, I think my website is cock blocking
me. The last date I was suppose to go on, cancelled
on me after she went on my website. "Hey
listen, I was on your site, very interesting stuff, huh,
can I call you back about this friday?" ; she never
called me back, didnt even pick up her cell ether. It
could have been because of the things I write, or it
could have been of the pics I take, maybe a combo of
both, who knows. Just give me a happy glowing fuck'n
drink, and get the ball in the hole. |
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3 feet and rizeing |
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Jumping,
yes I’ve
Jump, at 13.000 feet. Julie, she Jumped, at 3 feet. The
difference? 10.000 more jumps and she'll catch up... |
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My
darling Julie.... This is not a formula, or a cure,
it is a philosohpy. Start over from the begining when
knowing to much is making you forget what you already
know. |
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Mr. Method and the Maddog |
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April 4th
2007 Wed |
About
Last Sunday night and Monday Night april 1st and april
2nd 2007 |
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Monday night
Get In the Hole
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It turned out to be an early evening,
we did well, so we went to eat afterward...
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I ate... Sushi |
I like Sushi |
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Go In the Sushi |
On Sunday Night |
It was a Dance-Dance |
Revolution |
Super Nova!!! |
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Someone here is real good |
Tony's got the skills, Gail is- Uh?- |
- Oh I get it, Roll up the sleeve's |
Now there rock'n... |
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Tuesday
April 3rd 2007 |
About
Last Friday Saturday night. march 30th, 31st 2007 |
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m16design.com
Mark
Tim Dirrenberger
Julie, what are you doing
here?
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Practice |
Then Sushi |
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I ate, a lot, of Sushi....
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John |
Mr and Jameson |
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Beer |
David Burns |
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March 30th
2007 |
About
Thursday Night |
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Holy
Hooly Hienie
Holly,
Hollie, Holee, Holley
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Dont feed the Animals
Helen
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