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MAY 31 THUR 2012
A few days ago


"I remember when the candle shop burned down. Everyone stood around singing 'Happy Birthday" ~Steven Wright






MAY.28. MON.12
Its Hot in here
A few days ago


Me: (Click) its hot in here.

Ilsa: Yes, it is a hot day today.

Me: I was talking about you.

Ilsa: LOL!






MAY.25. FRI.12
"don't be fooled by your emptiness, there's so much more room for happiness" ~ Kaskade


Room for Happiness (feat. Skylar Grey) by Kaskade on Grooveshark
influence (echo at beginning)


sometimes I wish I never felt, the influence of you
cuz now i feel the disconnect, like an open wound
where you once were there is a space, that runs as deep as hell
but every morning when i wake i tell myself

don't be fooled by your emptiness, there's so much more room for happiness
don't be fooled by your emptiness, there's so much more room for happiness

yeah, yeah, yeah

sometimes it's worse to have lost, than to have never had at all
cuz it's a curse, to feel love and to feel it all dissolve
where you once were, there is a space that runs as deep as hell
but every morning when i wake i tell myself

don't be fooled by your emptiness, there's so much more room for happiness
don't be fooled by your emptiness, there's so much more room for happiness

yeah, yeah, yeah
don't be fooled by your emptiness, there's so much more room for happiness
don't be fooled by your emptiness, there's so much more room for happiness

yeah, yeah, yeah x5







MAY.23. WED.12


All good criticism should be judged the way art is. You shouldn't read it the way you read history or science. ~Leslie Fiedler






MAY.22. TUE.12







MAY.20. SUN.12
Super Moon.


"Pluto, Scorpio's ruler, is part of an amazing Grand Kite pattern along with Mars in Virgo and Ceres in Taurus. ... In many ways, this is the perfect pattern to help us delve into our inner beings to take a long look at our expectations and seek out the flaws in our belief system (Chiron). Ceres will be there to provide a nurturing touch and help us from getting too discouraged."
"Forgiveness is a huge part of any healing process as is the need to remain as non-judgmental as possible. Pluto both fuels the need to dig deep and the knife to open old wounds, allowing them to drain. Mars in Virgo is very well suited to going over the details but since it is also exactly in-conjunct Uranus in Aries, it will be less patient than usual. Go easy on the criticism - both of yourself and others."
Copyright 2012 Libra Seeking Balance. All Rights Reserved

A few weeks ago the "super moon".

The tides, the mood of the many. I got a text that afternoon about the super moon. "Happy Super Moon!! Its gonna be the fattest moon of the year! Also the day of karmic repercussions in the Hindu calendar: ie-everything you say and do tonight will return 300 fold. Just wanted to warn ya!"~ Adreanna Limbach.

I stood home after I heard that. Karma is something you cant lie to. But I wonder, staying home to avoid Karma, was that good Karma or bad karma? It's definitely karma though.

And I wont even talk about my mood that night as well. Or even more so the moods of others-so I heard.

Scientifically the moon affect the tides and we are made mostly of water. "The gravitational pull of the moon tugs on the surface of the ocean until its surface mounds up and outward in the direction of the moon. When the mound of water has reached its highest point it is called high tide". I gather our emotions behave the same way under a full moon.

"This potent full Moon, which is also another super-Moon, meaning it is close to the Earth and therefore exerts a stronger pull on us, calls us to give birth to the powerful destiny seeded within each of us. This is the year to do it and now is the time to let go of the fears and the demons that keep us caught up in the delusions of our patriarchal society. We can band together with like-minded people (Venus in Gemini) and create a life that is meaningful, creative and strong (Mars in Virgo)."

"This Taurus/Scorpio Full Moon asks us to become aware of the people and things we give the highest value to, and to look at the emotional trauma that keeps us apart. It's time to question our values and beliefs about money, power, happiness and our connection to each other and to the Earth. There are powerful forces at work determined to keep the old system alive, regardless of how many people and places it destroys. But we are equally powerful, and the Cosmos is lending us energy to break-through our paralysis and stand up for our beliefs"
Copyright 2012 Cathy Lynn Pagano. All Rights Reserved









MAY.13. SUN.12
Mothers Day.


Happy mother Day, Mom.

My mother passed away recently. On March 13th, 2012. It was in the morning when I got the phone call. My life changed that morning. The weeks that followed after that, one day after the next, I was perpetually enlightened. The kinds of reactions I got from my friends and family were unexpected and strange. Yes, I did get the sympathy and respects one would get for a recent lose. But, I also got kind of a distance from some friends and family as well. That look in there eyes when they look at me, it was difficult to gage most times. I guess they didn't know how to sympathize with me, or if they even wanted to. I got rid of luggage after that, I started cleaning up. I made new friends and lost old ones, "lost" is a loose word, its more like 'made room' for something happy and new. Some people changed there attitude with me for the better and some for the worst after they heard about my lose. A few mistook my mourning for weakness and tried to kick me when I was seemingly down. I was bleeding yes, but I was never down, I wasn't raised to be that way. Things are clearer now.

I was my mothers best friend, we had a tuff relationship. But we loved each other the way family do.

I miss my Mom. Happy mothers day, Mom. You'll always be in my heart.






MAY.11. FRI.12
Junk food.
For thought: late afternoon.


"They say 'you are what you eat'. I say 'you are who you keep; as company'"







MAY.9. WED.12
About last Sunday: day time.


"Advice from a veteran trapeze performer: Throw your heart over the bars and your body will follow"













MAY.1. WED.12
Gail, Jimmy


Lets Go






APR.28. SAT.12
Julie Fish



Random chain of thought... Time for a change.

They always go belly up sooner or later. It's not new to me anymore. It's old. Old-old-old. Karma is something you can't runaway from, lie to or reverse... hmm.. maybe reverse, sounds like fiction.
Even though life for me is different now, I'm still systematically moving in the same pattern I have been for years, day and night. Its tuff to break because it admits that is it time to move on or move forward. I'm free on days I hadn't been free for-a long time. I have more money now. I have peace of mind now, I have more options now, but still sad for the lose but happy for the gain, or is that the other way around? I'll keep it to myself.
A few weeks ago, I almost complained about him again, and I'm glad I didn't. Sometimes we hesitate to do stuff that we know is the right thing to do cause it's to right and to easy. Until, later, when time whispers in your-ear, whispers stuff-like, 'maybe you should have done things differently' but still glad you didn't, but then your not sure about anything anymore.
Starting over again seems to be happening in every part of my life. Personal, recreational even commuting to work. People, places and things yup, I have written this before, I just keep forgetting. Life happens in increments of 4-sometimes-5. We are taught and trained and raised in increments of 4. School, work, play, health and so on we might not notice while its happening, but its there and happening. It's like graduating, like getting a promotion or a raise.
It's great to have a clean canvas with a colorful pallet, beautiful brushes with all the time in the world. You can paint any kind of place you want, any kind of person you want, and any kind of time you want, but, you'll always have critiques. Its funny how people fear offending you even at the expense of there own natural instinct for danger. I have always been good at starting over again; that being said, what does it mean that I am always "starting over again"? Some people only get one chance in life, I've had many I guess I'm lucky.


"Courage is not simply one of the virtues, but the form of every virtue at the testing point" ~C. S. Lewis


John Painz

"It has been said that democracy is the worst form of government except all the others that have been tried" ~Winston Churchill







and Other Days.


"Friendship is born at that moment when one person says to another, 'What! You too? I thought I was the only one" ~CS Lewis

"True love is like a pair of socks: you gotta have two and they've gotta match" ~Erich Fromm





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