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APR.28. SAT.12
Julie Fish

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Random chain of thought... Time for a change.

They always go belly up sooner or later. It's not new too me anymore. It's old. Old-old-old. Karma is something you can't runaway from or lie too or reverse... hmm.. maybe you reverse it, sounds like fiction though.
Even though life for me is different now, I'm still systematically moving in the same pattern I have been for years, day and night. It's tuff to break because it means that is it time to move on or move forward. I'm free on days I hadn't been free for-a long time. I have more money now. I have peace of mind now, I have more options now, but still sad for the lose but happy for the gain, or is that the other way around? I'll keep it to myself.
A few weeks ago, I almost complained about him again, and I'm glad I didn't. Sometimes we hesitate to do stuff that we know is the right thing to do cause it's to right and to easy. Until, later, when time whispers in your-ear, whispers stuff-like, 'maybe you should have done things differently' but still glad you didn't, but then your not sure about anything anymore.
Starting over again seems to be happening in every part of my life. Personal, recreational even commuting to work. People, places and things yup, I have written this before, I just keep forgetting. Life happens in increments of 4-sometimes-5. We are taught and trained and raised in increments of 4. School, work, play, health and so on we might not notice while its happening, but its there and happening. It's like graduating, like getting a promotion or a raise.
It's great to have a clean canvas with a colorful pallet, beautiful brushes with all the time in the world. You can paint any kind of place you want, any kind of person you want, and any kind of time you want, but, you'll always have critiques. Its funny how people fear offending you even at the expense of there own natural instinct for danger. I have always been good at starting over again; that being said, what does it mean that I am always "starting over again"? Some people only get one chance in life, I've had many I guess I'm lucky.

 

"Courage is not simply one of the virtues, but the form of every virtue at the testing point" ~C. S. Lewis

 

John Painz

"It has been said that democracy is the worst form of government except all the others that have been tried" ~Winston Churchill

 

 

 

 

 

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APR.26. THUR.12
Supy

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Very Hott

 

 

 

 

 

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APR.23. Mon.12
Moonshine

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"You can tell it's good if you light it and a blue flame comes up; that means it's good moonshine and it won't make you go blind" ~Johnny Knoxville
"We are here and it is now. Further than that, all human knowledge is moonshine" ~H. L. Mencken

 

 

 

 

 

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APR.20. Fri.12
Game and Fame

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Just kiss me

"Weakness of attitude becomes weakness of character" ~Albert Einstein

It's Mike Miller

 

 

 

 

 

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APR.19. Thurs.12
Spare the Rod .

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Prov:13:24: He that spareth his rod hateth his son: but he that loveth him chasteneth him betimes.

Refuse to discipline your child,and he will be spoiled--good for nothing. For the love that you have for your child, discipline him so that he will be useful, and healthy.

Spare the cane spoil the child means if you don't disapline your child then your spoiling them.

The bible phrase is actually: "He that spareth his rod hateth his son: but he that loveth him chasteneth him betimes (diligently)."
The Hebrew word was shiavet, which means scepter or authority. If you choose scepter in your translation, you can then consider that scepter is a big stick (rod) and leave it at that. If "authority" is what was meant, then the conclusion is different.

 

 

Needs more coffee

 

 

 

 

 

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APR.18. Wed.12
Yummy.

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"We are indeed much more than what we eat, but what we eat can nevertheless help us to be much more than what we are" ~Adelle Davis

 

 

 

 

 

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APR.17. Tue.12
Curry in somewhat of-a-Hurry.

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Moving along... There comes a point when being realistic is better in the long run, especially for your stomach.

 

 

 

 

 

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APR.16. Mon.12
healthy.

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"Some people regard private enterprise as a predatory tiger to be shot. Others look on it as a cow they can milk. Not enough people see it as a healthy horse, pulling a sturdy wagon" ~Winston Churchill

 

 

 

 

 

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APR.13. Fri.12
4-shadow.

 

 

 

 

 

 

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APR.12. Thur.12
Sushi.

 

Gail's Scales

 

 

 

 

 

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APR.10. Tue.12

Girl on the moon.
We Float by PJ Harvey on Grooveshark

 

Random Social phycology 101...

It's easy to say, "you just don't know him", "he's misunderstood", and "they are ok, I've seen worse". But. Thats only true if you don't have anything to do with-em or they with you.

I do believe that most people cannot learn from other people's mistakes. "Most people"; man I'm grateful I can learn, though I get ridiculed for it sometimes. Are you gonna jump off that cliff cause everybody did. Because I'm not, even though I've never jumped off a cliff.

"It's that wonderful old-fashioned idea that others come first and you come second. This was the whole ethic by which I was brought up. Others matter more than you do, so 'don't fuss, dear; get on with it" ~ Audrey Hepburn

This is a social circumstance. Sometimes, ones submissiveness can be measured by their self-esteem and buoyancy. Unless they are engineering an impression, motivated by an objective, who knows? That's when ones true character comes into play in more ways then one would think at first impression. That's when the game begins even before it's played on the green. Hustling is not always a pretty dance. Even John Travolta had to practice.

People who lie and cheat always get their come-up-ins no matter how well they play. I've seen it a thousand times.

Selfish and selfless, I know for sure, I'm selfless. Cause-I-know allot of selfish people who think they are keeping me close as the frienenmy or colleague thing. Sadly, I'm related to some. It makes me ill, literally ill. But at the same time grateful.

Sometimes, ones charm is a reflection of the people around them. Like a chameleon, like children emulating there environment or what they only know or learned, mimicking their older sibling, parents and guardians. If your kids got a big mouth you only have yourself to blame.

Behavior, actions, decisions making and handling of a situation and-or-communication in some small part comes from a personality-blue-print mixed with time and understanding. How-ever they understood it in time.

"Art is born of humiliation" ~W. H. Auden. Yes I do agree. Their are some people I know who are definitely a piece of work.

Embarrassment and humiliation, supposedly, leads to a kind of prudence for some. Experience is the path to wisdom, so they say. But experience to some is more like street cone. Repeating the same shit over again and again until they get different results. Nuts.

Ones sense of shame and dignity is usually a tell tale of one's maturity. But if they're too proud and heedless to know they should feel embarrassment... well... they're scary. Especially when they're older on the outside and not on the inside.

"Those children who are beaten will in turn give beatings, those who are intimidated will be intimidating, those who are humiliated will impose humiliation to others and even on too themselves, and those whose souls are murdered will murder" ~Alice Miller + WF...

The adult juvenile. Might be a person who has 1. Never known genuine respect and admiration from others. 2. Been spoiled rotten as a child. Or 3. Had their dignity compromised as a child. A common behaivor is writing off critical experiences in your adult life as a situation to be delt with, rather than an experience to notate and learn from. This is circumstantial of course. But for sure, its a sign of something inside the head that needs attention.

The inner child drives you (the adult). Too people and places. Too your company. To your wants and needs. The inner child, if traumatized, turns into the worst part of you as an adult. Sometimes you find the best part of you in others. Sometimes you find the worst part of you in others. The company to you keep. They become your best friend, they become your catalyst or they become your vice. They might even become your target. Pain sometimes makes us who we are. When the inner child and the adult disagree, the referee occasionally, is a glass of scotch.

 

 

 

 

 

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APR.8. Sun.12
Peeps. Happy Easter.

 

Tiger lillie

"And it is always Easter Sunday at the New York City Ballet. It is always coming back to life. Not even coming back to life - it lives in the constant present" ~John Guare

 

 

 

 

 

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APR.6/7. Fri/Sat.12
Vivid. Full Moon
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"Learn from the past, set vivid, detailed goals for the future, and live in the only moment of time over which you have any control now" ~Denis Waitley

"A movement that we will to execute is never more than a represented movement, and appears in a different domain from that of the executed movement, which always takes place when the image is vivid enough" ~Ernst Mach

 

 

 

 

 

 

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APR.5. THUR.12
Just shooting
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Size matters

People matter

A very small degree of hope is sufficient to cause the birth of love" ~Stendhal

 

 

 

 

 

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APR.4. WED.12
Last Friday/Saturday night...
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"If drinking is interfering with your work, you're probably a heavy drinker. If work is interfering with your drinking, you're probably an alcoholic" ~Author Unknown

"What's drinking?
A mere pause from thinking"
~George Gordon, Lord Byron, The Deformed Transformed

 

ABC

 

 

 

 

 

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MAR.29. THUR.12
dream Of~me*.
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MAR.26. Monday.12
About Last Saturday Night. Sofia's Bday DinnerDance.

 

Cherry Coke...

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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