Random Social phycology 101...
It's easy to say, "you just don't know him", "he's misunderstood", and "they are ok, I've seen worse". But. Thats only true if you don't have anything to do with-em or they with you.
I do believe that most people cannot learn from other people's mistakes. "Most people"; man I'm grateful I can learn, though I get ridiculed for it sometimes. Are you gonna jump off that cliff cause everybody did. Because I'm not, even though I've never jumped off a cliff.
"It's that wonderful old-fashioned idea that others come first and you come second. This was the whole ethic by which I was brought up. Others matter more than you do, so 'don't fuss, dear; get on with it" ~ Audrey Hepburn
This is a social circumstance. Sometimes, ones submissiveness can be measured by their self-esteem and buoyancy. Unless they are engineering an impression, motivated by an objective, who knows? That's when ones true character comes into play in more ways then one would think at first impression. That's when the game begins even before it's played on the green. Hustling is not always a pretty dance. Even John Travolta had to practice.
People who lie and cheat always get their come-up-ins no matter how well they play. I've seen it a thousand times.
Selfish and selfless, I know for sure, I'm selfless. Cause-I-know allot of selfish people who think they are keeping me close as the frienenmy or colleague thing. Sadly, I'm related to some. It makes me ill, literally ill. But at the same time grateful.
Sometimes, ones charm is a reflection of the people around them. Like a chameleon, like children emulating there environment or what they only know or learned, mimicking their older sibling, parents and guardians. If your kids got a big mouth you only have yourself to blame.
Behavior, actions, decisions making and handling of a situation and-or-communication in some small part comes from a personality-blue-print mixed with time and understanding. How-ever they understood it in time.
"Art is born of humiliation" ~W. H. Auden. Yes I do agree. Their are some people I know who are definitely a piece of work.
Embarrassment and humiliation, supposedly, leads to a kind of prudence for some. Experience is the path to wisdom, so they say. But experience to some is more like street cone. Repeating the same shit over again and again until they get different results. Nuts.
Ones sense of shame and dignity is usually a tell tale of one's maturity. But if they're too proud and heedless to know they should feel embarrassment... well... they're scary. Especially when they're older on the outside and not on the inside.
"Those children who are beaten will in turn give beatings, those who are intimidated will be intimidating, those who are humiliated will impose humiliation to others and even on too themselves, and those whose souls are murdered will murder" ~Alice Miller + WF...
The adult juvenile. Might be a person who has 1. Never known genuine respect and admiration from others. 2. Been spoiled rotten as a child. Or 3. Had their dignity compromised as a child. A common behaivor is writing off critical experiences in your adult life as a situation to be delt with, rather than an experience to notate and learn from. This is circumstantial of course. But for sure, its a sign of something inside the head that needs attention.
The inner child drives you (the adult). Too people and places. Too your company. To your wants and needs. The inner child, if traumatized, turns into the worst part of you as an adult. Sometimes you find the best part of you in others. Sometimes you find the worst part of you in others. The company to you keep. They become your best friend, they become your catalyst or they become your vice. They might even become your target. Pain sometimes makes us who we are. When the inner child and the adult disagree, the referee occasionally, is a glass of scotch.