"Men say that in this midnight hour, The disembodièd have power To wander as it liketh them, By wizard oak and fairy stream" ~William Motherwell
"There is nothing that gives more assurance than a mask" ~ Colette
"Everyone is a moon and has a dark side which he never shows to anybody" ~ Mark Twain
Entry: October 31st, 2008.
I'll update in a few days. Gotta do the celebrating thing, put the last few day up and attempt to dry up a bit at the same time... As I am also still trying to think up a November theme for my site.
Entry: October 27th, 30th 2008
Missing persons add
"The nature of pool and billiards is most times, just a distraction" ~william fuentes
"Once, during Prohibition, I was forced to live for days on nothing but food and water" ~W.C. Fields
I finally got some sleep after 40/45-some-odd-hours of hardcore whiskey running thru my system. Woke up drunk-went too bed drunk-woke up drunk. Couldn’t take it any more so I stood in bed until I felt equitable. Can’t even tell you what one dreams about when one is stoned in there sleep; dancing alligators in tutu’s, Jim Morrison selling pastrami and jelly sandwiches in a Buddhist temple made of Leggo-Logs and donuts, Harold and his purple crayon drawing a pool table with holes running around the table, flying turtles, cobble stoned roads made of billiard balls, barney rubble running off with your mom, whatever. When I woke up on this fine cold and rainy afternoon, I got that “it all happened yesterday feeling”. What I mean by that is, sometimes, at least with me, even though I go to bed for about 8 hours, when I awaken the next day, it just doesn’t feel like the next day. The days all become one day, day after day, and sleeping just felt like another task I just accomplished and now on to the next task. It is great to have a fresh mind in the morning, on almost any kind of morning.
"Dreams are free, so free your dreams" ~Astrid Alauda
Entry: October 26th, 27th, 2008.
Sunday Morning. Monday Morning
Fire in the Ice
Gina is so happy...
You never know what is enough, until you know what is more than enough. ~William Blake, Proverbs of Hell
The observer, when he seems to himself to be observing a stone, is really, if physics is to be believed, observing the effects of the stone upon himself. ~Bertrand Russell
Entry: October 24th, 25th, 2008 Friday...Saturday
“Tamed as it may be, sexuality remains one of the demonic forces in human consciousness -- pushing us at intervals close to taboo and dangerous desires, which range from the impulse to commit sudden arbitrary violence upon another person to the voluptuous yearning for the extinction of one's consciousness, for death itself. Even on the level of simple physical sensation and mood, making love surely resembles having an epileptic fit at least as much as, if not more than, it does eating a meal or conversing with someone.”~Susan Sontag
A few several people, horrible circumstances, mutual agree-and-disagreements, betrayal, rejection, a history, a flame from old or new, then, unexpectedly, the combination ignites a relationship between two people giving it, it’s forbidden underlines, facilitated from those around the relationship expressing, “This is treacherous and erroneous” so-so wrong. Kind of like witches around a black cauldron making the smoke and flames higher and higher with chants and spells of scorn. People, by nature, want what they cannot have or should not have; we are taught this as children; sometimes inadvertently as well.
Automatic, if you tell the child, “No that’s not for you” The child wants it more than ever. Afterward the more you rationalize to the child why he or she cannot have it; the more the child desires it. You, the adult, are adding to the childs desire, a new component; taboo. “Taboo” is the engine for any supposedly forbidden relationship. An easier-said then-done solution, the psychology here would be, to give the child what he or she wants leaving the child to do with it, as they will, inevitably, if the circumstances are indeed "Taboo", they hurt themselves with it, then, lesson learned, (hopefully without anyone or themselves suffering the lose of a finger or an eye or even worse in the process of “lesson learned”). I am only speaking metaphorically mind you. I mean really, your not going to let your kid play with a powerdrill no matter how much he cries.
Though, It has always been in my experience, whenever ‘I think’ I might be, a third party of some “taboo relationship” from an old flame and friend, I stay clear and far of it as much as possible with-a-very-less than zero attitude attached to it, no emotional strings, no logical-verbal comments. instead, feeling fortunate I got off easy. Leaving only the two parties with no extra fiery-bond with my name on it as it’s foundation; adieu those two, with only each other. Truly 'if' the pedestal of any relationship has cracks in it, sooner or later that relationship will just end up as a pile of rubble and debri. I’ve seen it before, I’ve done it before, and I’ve been under the pile before.
This entry is just one perspective though. Very rarely have I ever seen anything good come from anything bad, save myself and my attitude towards unfaithfull behavior. I'd much prefer to be a part of something wonderful, the begining of something permitted, and not an ethical forbiddence. Still, things can always change with time.
“Whenever a taboo is broken, something good happens, something vitalizing. Taboos after all are only hangovers, the product of diseased minds, you might say, of fearsome people who hadn't the courage to live and who under the guise of morality and religion have imposed these things upon us.” ~Henry Miller
Entry: October 22nd, 2008 Wed...
“Better the devil you know than the angel you don't” ~Hama Tuma quotes
“The devil has put a penalty on all things we enjoy in life. Either we suffer in health or we suffer in soul or we get fat.” ~Albert Einstein
I just wanted pumpkin pie as I watch my team shoot, could not find it for the life of me anywere near-by. Tryed next door at the cafe, none. We even tried to go the entenmann's version at KeyFood, (in spanish it's pronounced EN-da-mengs) not even that was available...so, so sad....
“It is easy -- terribly easy -- to shake a man's faith in himself. To take advantage of that to break a man's spirit is devil's work.” ~George Bernard Shaw
Emily, Maya DelVillar ( Delvillar) and Sofia
“They do not love that do not show their love. The course of true love never did run smooth. Love is a familiar. Love is a devil. There is no evil angel but Love.” ~William Shakespeare
Entry: October 21st/19th, 2008. Tuesday Morning...Sunday Night
Hot, Milfy Goodness
First Arnold, Gary and that porn chick, now this. The Nerve, the arrogance the insane vision of this Milfy-Jane-lady, who’s boots, never dug into sandy ground of a war-torn people. This women, who has never even been out of the country, ta-even-imagine she has the option to one day might have to lead America, is true Horror, not to mention embarrassing; the French must be laughing at us every day.
It's nice to be asked, “hey lady, wanna run America?” but really, do you think that this woman even thought to herself, "can I run America? If that day ever happens, can I handle it? Do you think she thinks, she lives in a country that can be managed by person of her qualifications? Yup, she does.
The fact, that she thinks she can run the country, deal with war issues from leaders and terrorist of 2nd and 3rd world countries, eco issues, SSI-issues, Deficit issues and a long list other issues, (That I think will never get resolved), should say she can not, so it is important that McCain does not win.
I think, if Sarah had turned down her VP invitation, this might have made her more likeable and much more of an interesting prospect for running in about say maybe 8 to12 years? If she had admitted, she is clearly not qualified to be a part of the white-house on any level, this would have given her sanity mad-props to allot of Americans looking for Women in the oval office. She’s certainly young enough to wait. She's44years old, and she’s kind of cute, scary, but cute, in a Milfy-way, she could've waited, but its too late now, she had an oppertunity and she blew it.
Sorry Sarah, I think you might have been better off turning down the opportunity of VP. Harvesting the respect one acquires from characteristics of humbleness and a sense of realism of the people around you, as oppose to inflicting and insulting Americans with your delusion and arrogance. I bet McCain banged this chick in the woods way back when moose hunting season was trendy with groupie politicians of backwater towns. “Hey John, if you don’t pick me as VP I’m gonna Youtube us back in the bar after that hunting trip, you know the one with the moose in heat”. Whatever….
Is it a coincidence that this slogan about Sarah Palin has the same approach as my October 2008 entry? Its even the same colors, jeez...
"The problem for Palin isn't ambition, it's hubris. A more grounded politician would have put in the work to match their aspirations. That Palin hasn't done that bespeaks a tremendous, even scary, overconfidence" ~ Ezra Klein
"When it comes to money nobody should give up anything"
~ Anthony Trollope
Danial's into it Yeah!!!
"So wretched is man that he would weary even without any cause for weariness from the peculiar state of his disposition; and so frivolous is he that, though full of a thousand causes for weariness, the least thing, such as playing billiards or hitting a ball, is sufficient to amuse him" ~ Blaise Pascal
"Do not look back in anger, or forward in fear, but around in awareness" ~James Thurber
"By nature, people are nearly alike; by practice, they get to be wide apart" ~Confucius
"Give up the feeling of responsibility, let go your hold, resign the care of your destiny to higher powers, be genuinely indifferent as to what becomes of it all and you will find not only that you gain a perfect inward relief, but often also, in addition, the particular goods you sincerely thought you were renouncing" ~ William James
Team: EVERYTHING BUT THE GUY
"There is no female mind. The brain is not an organ of sex. You might as well speak of a female liver" ~Charlotte Perkins Gilman
"The chains of habit are generally too small to be felt until they are too strong to be broken" ~Samuel Johnson
Single and Fabulous
"You will always be judged, if you play in a manner that is highly admired or loathly undesired" ~WF
"Men's natures are alike; it is their habits that separate them" ~Confucius
Entry: October 16th, 2008. Thursday Morning.
About the last few days.
I'll name you Tuxedo.
Crawling with "Meow"
"To swallow and follow, whether old doctrine or new propaganda, is a weakness still dominating the human mind."
~Charlotte Perkins Gilman
Works by John Golden
Do you understand what I mean?
Ja, Ju'h, Julie's?
I was told, "Sneakers" found a home. Adobted by a family out in the berbs.
Entry: October 15th, 2008.
I wonder what happened to this one? 05
I never felt comfortable playing pool under a full moon. I know that sound silly but I Just never feel, balanced. My cold is subsiding a bit, but I have said this before, then bam, cold. I was so ill this past weekend, dizzy on the meds and worried about sitting at my desk the next day with a nasty cold. My health has been a big concern lately. And with an almost supposed recession on the brink I think of my coverage and security.
"There are some remedies worse than the disease" ~Publilius Syrus
Entry: October 14th, 2008. Tuesday Morning.
Here, ok now, shut your cake hole.
“In every relationship, you expose your life values and emotional intelligence. In every relationship decision, you express your communication skills, your commitment and your integrity. You cannot hide your maturity - or lack of it. Your maturity predicts your ability to monitor and manage your emotions, to assess the emotional state of others and to influence their opinions and behavior. Your emotional intelligence and emotional maturity seem to be most profoundly influenced by your relationship history and your trauma history” ~ Dr. Jorhey Meya
Personally, if I find myself complaining too much about anything or anyone, I start feeling embarrassed; perhaps too much complaining is a sign of weakness? A sign of an-ill spent youth? I don’t know, but I do know it’s not right for my nature to complain constantly.
Sometimes you gotta-give a lollypop to a whiny crying brat just to get-em to shut the f[}ck-up because you got a headache.
I don’t recommend doing it all the time though, too many lollipops not only will rot there teeth but they get accustom to getting what they want by just crying about. Kids grow up fast, and this kind blueprinting during there impressionistic years makes them horrible adults to be acquainted with. Soon, spoiled children turn out to be spoiled adults; bitching and moaning about something they want becomes their nature. The spoiled adult-child rational acts in moments of stress become more of a suppressant to a natural instinct of the spoiled adult-child. This suppression can lead to symptoms of anger and frustration and impulsive aggressive behavior. ~ Dr. Richard Hurts
“As people mature, they tend to be more realistic about minor ups and downs in a relationship. They learn how to endure through difficult times with a friend, spouse, or sibling. But when a person remains immature and spoiled, they can be very unpredictable. Minor slights between siblings get exaggerated. They whine to their parents to solve the problem. They try to get other siblings or family members to gang up against the “problem” sibling. Old parental favoritisms and sibling competitions get hashed over in the present moment. These are all methods more typical of young children, not healthy adults” ~ Nina Guilbeau
OMG, My cold got worse, even after I tried to prevent it by eating nonbacterial heavily cooked foods, drinking a lot of water and teas, no coffee and booze, (well I had a little on Thursday) and staying home. I think maybe if I went out and partied I wouldn’t of gotten sick. This sucks. My head is pounding, my nose is running, my eyes are on fire, everything weighs a hundred pounds and I feel a bit achy, but not to much. I am still functioning with this cold though. Drinking tea all day and watching cable. On cable there was a moment in this movie called 28days, it was about substance abuse and alcoholism, there was a part that made me cry a little, I think it is the cold, all emo and sh! T, feeling miserable and stuff. Some of things that sit inside for along time surface from time to time. I’m not getting any younger and I think I am filling to the rim; or my lake is drying up. There is an auspicious balance going inside of me, I might have been here before but I cannot remember when. I kept cool these past few days, when it came to dealing with people. I think my diplomacy is not without a price later on when I’m alone. I have to show up tomorrow, so I better get better or get used to the idea of spreading my germs. Books are good, I’ve been reading. When I read I usually do two pages maybe three before my attention is drawn away, but lately I have been going thru more and more of the pages without loosing attention; it’s effecting my game, my attention is lasting longer on the table, I know it sounds silly, but exercising my ADD attention issues with reading is steadying my thought process; it might sound silly to some. But, I read code, that’s what I do for a living, read and write code, repair code, computers and all kind of multitasking stuff needing my attention in different directions. Anyway this cold is annoying and I want it to go away so my thoughts can clear up a bit more. A small light in a dark room. I can make it as bright as I want. When I want.
Entry: October 11th, 2008. Saturday Morning
The sub videos underneath after when the main video is over are all equally as horrifyingly grindhouse as well...
"The world always makes the assumption that the exposure of an error is identical with the discovery of truth - that the error and truth are simply opposite. They are nothing of the sort. What the world turns to, when it is cured on one error, is usually simply another error, and maybe one worse than the first one" ~H.L. Mencken
"In general people experience their present naively, as it were, without being able to form an estimate of its contents; they have first to put themselves at a distance from it - the present, that is to say, must have become the past - before it can yield points of vantage from which to judge the future" ~Sigmund Freud The Future of an Illusion
Entry: October 10th, 2008. Friday. About Thursday Night.
"Proverbs often contradict one another, as any reader soon discovers. The sagacity that advises us to look before we leap promptly warns us that if we hesitate we are lost; that absence makes the heart grow fonder, but out of sight, out of mind" ~Leo Rosten
"Our greatest pretenses are built up not to hide the evil and the ugly in us, but our emptiness. The hardest thing to hide is something that is not there" ~Eric Hoffer, Passionate State of Mind, 1955
WTF is going on behind Naldo?
Borana, Maya, El Scuba, Naldo, Tony & Gay'll
Entry: October 9th, 2008. Thursday Morning.
About last Friday. HAPPY BIRTHDAY REMO!
"It takes a long time to grow an old friend" ~John Leonard
"Friendship is unnecessary, like philosophy, like art.... It has no survival value; rather it is one of those things that give value to survival" ~C.S. Lewis
"A good friend is cheaper than therapy"
"The antidote for fifty enemies is one friend" ~Aristotle
"In everyone's life, at some time, our inner fire goes out. It is then burst into flame by an encounter with another human being. We should all be thankful for those people who rekindle the inner spirit" ~Albert Schweitzer
"The most beautiful discovery true friends make is that they can grow separately without growing apart" ~Elisabeth Foley
A friend is a person with whom I may be sincere. Before him I may think aloud. I am arrived at last in the presence of a man so real and equal, that I may drop even those undermost garments of dissimulation, courtesy, and second thought, which men never put off, and may deal with him with the simplicity and wholeness with which one chemical atom meets another. ~Ralph Waldo Emerson
True friendship comes when silence between two people is comfortable. ~Dave Tyson Gentry
The friend within the man is that part of him which belongs to you and opens to you a door which never, perhaps, is opened to another. Such a friend is true, and all he says is true; and he loves you even if he hates you in other mansions of his heart. ~Antoine de Saint-Exupéry, The Wisdom of the Sands, translated from French by Stuart Gilbert
"The best kind of friend is the one you could sit on a porch with, never saying a word, and walk away feeling like that was the best conversation you've had"
“Words have no power to impress the mind without the exquisite horror of their reality.”
~Edgar Allan Poe
Entry: October 8th, 2008.
My cold is at bay but not completely away. All the non bacterial food I have been eating is starving the cold germs. But Gail tells me there is no Nutrients in fried food and I should eat fruits; lots of nutrition in fruit. But fruits carry bacteria, the kind of bacteria cold germs need to stick around. But I think the Vitamins might sub that lacking of nutrients in deeply cooked food. My throat still hurts though. I hate med's, I avoid it as much as I can.
It started last night right in the middle of my match, and then this morning, I couldn't get, up even after 8 hours of sleep and nightmares of both my pool teams coming in last place this season (night sweats). But I did anyway, get up, I had too, my sense of duty and responsibilty is what william is all about 16 hours a day 5 days a week. I loaded up with air-born, C, Z, a few other pills, ate an egg with toast, but threw out the coffee; it did not taste to well with me today. I feel, run-down, and tried. Irritable, like a monster being awoken from a million year slumber and not knowing what the flip is going on-and what are these little things around me yelling and screaming and throwing sh!t at me. like my body is fighting an on coming cold of sorts. Yes. I looked in my blogs post from the last couple of year entries (oct 05/06/07) from around this time of the season and yes, I was i'll those times as well. I have not had a drink of booze for the last few days, immunity system is at war right now, last thing I need to do is throw alcohol on my antibody-troops during battle. The way I am feeling right now, head pressure, muscle's weak, eyes-burning and dim on the edges. I cannot tell if my loopy thoughts are due to this achy cold feeling or this achy cold feeling is manipulating my thoughts. I ask myself, what kind of mood would I have to be in-in order to not mind a on coming cold? I say to myself all that I should be grateful for along with all kinds of 'at least''.
My Random happy thought of the day
The Cloverfield Monster
I get so happy when I think of my Cloverfield Monster
I ate Pilipino food with George. Pilipino food is very much like Dominican, almost but not quit. It was filling, good, good food. Afterward, George and me went to go visit Julie at her bar, I drank a bit. Then I went to ABC and shot for a few hours with Steve.
Entry: October 5th, 2008. Sunday. About the APA Regionals 2008.
"Success is not final, failure is not fatal – it is the courage to continue that counts" Winston Churchill
Congratulations to Michael Yednak, Olga Gashkova (a pocket porn star), and Olly Hamm for winnining the APA Regional 2008 finals; all going to Vegas, all going to kick some booty...
Olga and Mr Downtown
Pocket Porn Stars in the finals
Rob, Olga, Anthony and Aaron Kane.
I'm not actually there, at the Oct 2008 regional pool event and the pics above are from other APA regional events a few seasons ago, but I am getting Txt-updates from half my team that qualified to be there. Along with a bunch of my other-peeps that qualified; Tony, Olga and Aaron Kane. My Buddies Mike Yedneck and Anthony Johnson are there, as well as many other of my friends on the NYC APA, (American Pool Association). My intention was go and support my friends and current team mates, but some personal matters got in the way and I had to stay in; but I'm with my players all the way from internet land. Why I don't qualify myself? I don't know, I mean I do, but, I guess I'm not very competitive; still, I do love a good challenge, yes there is a diffence between being competitive and taking on a challenge cause if there wasnt why would the same meaning have two different words? Anyway, maybe I need to change my perspective on playing pool and billiards if I do compete for one of these tournaments, it looks like good fun; maybe I should compete, but I would hate going against one of my players from one of my teams, there is something just a little uneasy about it with me, just a tiny bit, being that they are the ones I sometimes project my game through during team play. I have to remind myself that when I do that (lean a bit heavy), that I am projecting through an indivisual that has there own path to walk, and there own way of walking. ~ The only journey is the one within. ~ Rainer Maria Rilke
“Opposition is a natural part of life. Just as we develop our physical muscles through overcoming opposition - such as lifting weights we develop our character muscles by overcoming challenges and adversity” ~Stephen R. Covey
"Where there is no imagination there is no horror"
~Arthur Conan Doyle, Sr
Entry: October 3rd, 2008. Friday.
About last Thurstday Morning
On my regular commute I came across death, then I thought, oh no...This is the second time I found a dead Monarch Butterfly on the sidewalks of New York City. I didn't take this as an omen, like I usually do when ever I come across dead urban wildlife in my path.
"Butterflies are souls of the dead waiting to pass through purgatory"
Entry: October 1st/2nd, 2008.
About last Mundane night... Get In The Hole...
"Im with you on that table, I see what you see on that table, and when you have all your energry focused on your great skill and ability, sometimes that focuse washes over your sense of strategy, then you find yourself shooting with a bleeding into each other-of ideas-of what next' after you get that ball in the hole. That is when your captain comes in. I dont need game, cause you are my game, that's why I am your captain. So, if you just shut your cake hole (just kidding) and just listen from time to time, you'll win much more I think. Consider, especaily if I am about 25 years older thn most of my players, I might know a thing or two in situations concerning moments that require experience and patience.
This entry is not about anyone currently on my teams. this is more about my past teams, way past.
War does not determine who is right - only who is left. ~Bertrand Russel
"Patience is often described as a core virtue"
"Draft beer, not people"
~Attributed to Bob Dylan
Why is it, when-every time I play pool with anyone, suddenly, everybody is so - so good?
Emily, GETS IN THE HOLE.
After pool was over, I went home...
"Where there is no imagination there is no horror"
~Arthur Conan Doyle, Sr
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