use a Digital Leica 1. I have been using
it for about a year and a few months. 4.5MP
and I shoot people places and things; wee.
I feel better today; I stood off the alcohol
for about a day and a half and gargled
away my sore throat with lots of Listerine;
Why does Patrick always get to
feel up the bartenders?
Last night was
a little annoying; I played killer with this
pinched nerve stemming from the right side of
the top of my neck all the way down to the middle
of my back. The night went on slowly with strange
behavior’s, small cocktail snacks of this
coming side order season soap opera drama, and
me being on two fouls with a ball in hand on
the one playing nine ball. Should I water down
my headaches with rational on starving people
in china and at least having an option to drink
water instead off whiskey? No. I will not settle
today. I feel like I'm on a raft floating on
a stream of wine with no paddle and just out
of reach of the shore. I don’t want to
get wet, but at least I can-and have the choice
to swim. So yes, these things are my choice.
I’m not bitching and moaning, if I was,
I wouldn’t be writing about it on the web
for all to read and feed back, “man that
will, what a whiner.” My throat hurts
today, my eyes are in a daze and my thinking
is all jumbled, I slept for maybe three hours
last night/this-morning. Hung out to long, don’t
know why, oh yes I do. Its sad the reason. I
almost miss the days of I know people who know
people. Then again, that is the reason why I
am there in the first place. A place were one
gets dismissed when he or she has out lived there
immediate entertaining value for getting the
ball in her hole. Back in 2003/2004 I would’ve
just simply wrote, “ I need to get meaner
and not be so forgiving and blah-blah-blah. Now
I’m just predicting it, at first if effects
my emotion or my emotional response is immediate,
now, I am just sitting back and watching, still
feeling it though, but familiar with it. Yet
still, just watching is kind of mean.
government will give it to you right in the old
cake hole; as far as your check is concerned.
If you are a single man claiming your one and
only, let me tell you, your not. You are more
expensive than if you were claiming three people.
When you claim just yourself, you are also claiming
others. Entities, these entities will suck the
life out of you. I am so peeved. My uncle robbed
me and all I can do is bend over and sing the
national anthem sounding like if Eddie Vedder
went to Rikers Island for a day.
Old Man beater upper
I know…my updates have been kind of lazy.
Ok, so, I have been lately, drinking a lot,
hit a few cigs here and there, don’t
know why. My game comes and goes like a flickering
bulb in an abandoned warehouse. Im having 4 cups
of coffee a day, I’m
eating twice as much as before and I have been
having nightmares every other night. Hm? Depression
maybe? Na. I don’t know what it is, though
all of the above can be construed as self-destructive
people would rather be around sorts just to feel
better about them selves. I don’t get plesure
from such a loathly indulgence.
mind has been running a marathon and physically
I am 50/50. Its not as bad as it sounds, cause
there has been lots of great things happening
in my life as well. More good than bad that is
for sure. Cause I’m still
eating what I want when I want. I hang out with
and hang all over beutyfull young women with
no complaints. And at any given moment I just
might shave my beard off…again,
buy new shoes and maybe just maybe… get
a new camera. My throat hurts. Weather changing.
the lower east side brings back some
memories, ahh, the days of my, huh, the…err…well my Upper
East Side child hood years. The Sharks
(Porter Ricans) I grew up with didn’t
sound like Mexicans like they did in the
movie, they had accent like Bugs Bunny,
Brooklyn Bronx-esk. And only in the movies
is when a handsome young can man runs thru
the streets of Spanish Harlem 3am in the
morning calling out Maria! And only one
girl looks out the window.
Sharks. Portor Ricans with
A Girl who dates a boy
that killed her brother is probably a girl
guys are for lack of a better word... Dumb.
Ok, this gang is stuck up in the Bronx
trying to get back to Brooklyn while trying
avoiding getting killed by other gangs
on the way. The Warriors, run thru the
open streets of the Bronx and New York,
take some trains here and there and bump
into different gangs on the way. Why
they just catch a cab? Or even better break
into a car or one of those Scooby-Doo-vans
that were very popular back then, pile
in and take the west side highway all the
way home? I would have even taken off my
gang wear and by a tee and a baseball cap
at a local bodega. Can you dig it?
and My Monkey dont get along
D'uh Monkey Dont like Maria
and Jess the nipple and the Mohawk Chick Finishes
the Jameson... Pia would be proud.
Friday Night. Pool, Mexican,
and a few moments of hot skin and smooth drink.
So Douglas, whos that girl wearing your shirt
at the other table?
My Juke box was here but now it
is gone I left this note and carried on...
Food, Very Filling. Margarita Very
Nice, Razzberry, all very good
Go ahead, make my balls
"My roach is dead
and it’s big and I love him, I love
my dead big roach"
me retract this. “My roach is dead
and its big and I love him, I love my dead
big roach”. It’s not dead,
last night I come home, late, go into my
bedroom and guess who was eating my turtle’s
food? Five legged Fred, my roommate, Mr.
Roach. Apparently my brother might have
killed one of his buddies or killed an
intruder, which explains why it would be
outside of my bedroom. Yes it was my buddy,
all five legs of him, my brother said he
saw it come down the hall from around the
corner of my bedroom but it could have
came from the other room. Hm? Whatever.
It doesn’t matter my buddy is still
alive, I don’t really know what to
say about that last statement, but, I wasn’t
too stressed about see him last night.
I mean… After jumping out of a plane,
how stressed is one going to be about a
Get in the Hole. Start time: 7:14pm - 12:30pm.
we were down, second match we were up, third
match we were up, fourth match we were down,
Fifth match we had no one to put up so we forfited
and lost. First place all season just to give
it away to wild card.... Oh well... Needless
to say it didnt feel good the next day.
Team Stick It in. Start time 7:08pm - 1:30pm
we were down, second match we were up, third
match we were up, fourth match we were down,
fifth match; Michelle brings in the win baby.
Team STICK IT IN wins round one of the playoffs.
We drank and jumped till 3:00am. My heart was
filled with Jameson...er, I mean Joy.
Its ok. I still love everyone...
Its all good. We all still got
more chances for the next cityfinals
is like liquid air, I’m drowning, but
I can breath. The fog in my goggle effect
my visual, everything around me is soft at
the edges, the sky, the earth and the amazing
Skydivers falling with me are muted colors-in-motion-blur,
its like a dream. I can’t even see
light but its not dark. My ears are congested
with altitude pressure, so I cant hear anything
but the rushing air that’s sound like
rolling thunder moving at 100 miles an hour.
All my senses are in over load. This new
feeling that is being certified by all the
elements involved in skydiving is forever
burned into my very existence. I almost panic,
this new sensation my body and brain has
never experienced before is recording every
moment with my heart racing and my adrenalin
pumping. Stepping out of that cargo door
is like stepping out of a womb. When the
shoot opens up, the very next second, I wanted
to jump again.
This is the best thing
this year so far
Jason and Bill, Jumpers.
Will and Mitch, Jumpers
Serafina and Adrian, Jumpers
Pia, Jumper but dont Jump-her
Bills Mutang, Jumper
Will and Jessy Jameson
Jessica, another Jumper
Chris is the Man...
Chris is a Jumper
Recreation, something that
gets you up high.
The next day... Pumkins
James is the man
Thanks James. I know you
work hard to make it go right.
the way over
Sign your life away
Genever, Pete, Jessica and Eric, Jumpers....
pussied out, now thats cool" Mr
the Jumps... Later in the evening... Things
got... Well, you decide.
next, stays there.
Eric, The pogo stickman…
Things were getting
a little out of hand after
the pogo sticking for a while.
As if we didn’t have
enough of adrenalin stimuli.
Guns, smokes, bondage, fast
ladies, booze and burning
right, they set the couch
There is this one person I
know. This one person has this magical power
of making other persons go away. This person
that I know, that has been making other persons
go away, to my knowledge, have been doing this
since we met many years ago. Now, for some reason,
this person with the magical powers of making
other persons go away have not yet made me go
away. Even though this person has tried, many
times, It could be me, I could be just simply
to stupid to know what an insult is; maybe. Still,
why have I not gone away? Why has that persons
power work on me yet. There are only a few chosen
with this immunity. A place is only great with
the company that is in that place. A room with
four walls is just a room with four walls. Class
(meaning Elegance, flair, flamboyance) is not
a place, class is a quality of one personality,
and class is something you have. My buddy, Jennie,
has class, once before; she has bought this to
my attention. When I was letting my emotions
get the best of my flamboyance. I was looking
silly, weak and a push over. If you don’t
want to be in the same room with certain people
of a certain class of personality that is your
choice. The key word here is “Your
choice”. Only you choose to make the company
that is around your surrounding the level of
influence they have on you. I know, Shut the
fuck up Will, that is easier said than done or
written on a web Blog. Emotion, usually turn
up or a stronger word ‘take-over’ first,
then before your logic and grown up response
comes second, it all depends on your class, how
you were raised to believe certain things and
so fourth. Its cool, I’m writing this now,
because I have gotten past the emotional part,
so this is my logical rational.
you have some emotional attachment to someone.
The level of influence one has on you are up
to you. Like my grandmother, she had an
influence on me.
Yeah, I know,
its hurts the eyes to watch a bad pool match,
watching a bad match sucks-you in to a hole that
is not a pocket-hole on a pool table. So you
wince and walk away. But that was your choice
to do so; to walk away. How you look at things
can really make a difference in how you feel
about things and your surrounding. The really
good part about that is, if you know your opponents
weakness and your opponent does not know yours,
how can you let them outclass you, manipulate
you, and make you go away? If I was at an IPT
(International Pool Tournament)
tournament and sitting in the audience right
behind Efran Reyes. Efran walks to the table,
goes for a shot, misses his shot then goes back
to his chair, I then lean over to him and whisper
in his ear “you should have followed that
shot not draw.”
Now, if you were Efran how seriously would you
take that comment?
Would you let it manipulate your game?
Would you laugh?
Would you agree?
Or would you be amused, that the dipshit behind
you, who’s not even remotely close to your
level, might have some skill but most likely
someone who will never know what it is like to
be in a position to get comments from some one
in an audience who is not on your level?
If you know you
have someone out classed on all kinds of level
what would be the level that person has you out
classed in if they are getting under your skin?
One can patronize
ones character by giving one the response one
is looking for like needing to gain control for
an objective. I know how some people feel about
being in the company of someone who you would
rather not have around for whatever reason. I
will not let one person influence my decision,
especially if you know that person well enough
to see the reason for that person’s
behavior with you. It’s laughable, almost
automatic on my part to just nod and agree to
lets see. I've been busting my brain at my occupation
lately, Huh, what else? Oh yeah, late night, Thursday.
I won killer, sorta, split it with Jeff; WeeEEeeEEeeEee.
It’s a good
thing Julie called me on my cell just to watch
her shoot with Jason at the pool hall earlier that
Thursday night and then leave me there after they
finished there set to go see a show, or I might
not of went to the bar, ya-know, that bar were “a
one person cant make it a great bar cuase you need
Douglas came in before they finished there set;
I wasn’t expecting
that, Douglas showing up. We played; Douglas is
good, I’m learning from Douglas.
of the guy Im learning from, the next night
(Friday) Douglas was at the hall again. He was
playing a regular there, then we played a few
games after he was done with the regular, we
went to eat and then did our own thing. While
we were eating, though, I just want say, Douglas,
just might have saved me from a terrible mistake
I almost made. He put some sense into my head
again. Reminded me of a few things, Whew!
How can I forget something like that? was it
the moon? Na.
I am a Captain, of a pool
team, or teams. If my ship is seemingly sinking
and I am not talking about my team sinking
but the ship we sail on. I will go down with
my ship. I will not abandon her. I will drown
in its sorrows of air-quatic misery coming
thru all her holes. How can a place full
of wonderful people be such a bad place to
be in or leave? It
always slap me in the right cheek when I
ever I say on my cell phone “I’m
here” and then following I hear “ that
place has nothing in there for me” But
I just said I’m here?
People have power, especially
in large numbers. When people can get together
and organize, they make waves; they rock
the boat, then a “making a difference
Is it true then? One bad egg can make for
a bad carton of eggs? Back were I shop, I
just replace the egg with a good one. I can’t
be bought for fifty bucks. Yeah, I will not
quit until it is absolutely for sure that
jumping ship is the smart thing to do. But
even as a captain, can I sleep with myself
if I did jump ship? What if prematurely jumping
ship is the killing blow? And there was a
chance of patching up the holes just in time?
I am hardheaded and stubborn. And I am having
a hard time giving up on such a long time
investment so easily for something that is
just seemingly going to happen, for fifty
bucks or both. If it goes down to the bottom,
well, so does the name. But as long as she
floats, so does the name. And the name stays
on the ship, until she goes to the bottom
with Davy Jones singing hey-hey with the
monkeys. Build a new ship use the old name
but first the old ship has to be no more.
AWwWWwww Shit Will Got New
about the people skills, and whats
on your feet.
Get the win
should not be the objective,
getting the win should be the
inevitable. The objective should
be how you get the win.
its pouring. My beer makes things
not so boring. Then came the
time when I was not so high but
went to see some flies dance
on a pole and make everything
oh so fine.
I just got
a pool table. Oh yeah.
I got some
new kicks too. Oh yeah.
I just got
win of something today, oh yeah,
and it’s ok because I am
still walking my way. In my new
has got some fine looking people.
Im gonna make her mine.
That’s right I said, William is in the “hating
waiting” mood cause it almost a full moon
Yeah, I was being a dickhead the other night.
Monday Steve Irwin day. Daves Birthday.
I was. That’s because I got tired of seeing
not much in my near future as far as quality
relationships go. Me, Bitter? Na. I’ve
been on three dates and a few second dates already,
since June. And on these dates, I realized if
I wanted to go further with it, I would have
to change my scene a little. And I said to Julie
she is doing the same thing I am doing, seven
days a week at that, save a day to do laundry.
People like us, like my dad, like a few buddies
of mine, are always on the move at a pace no
one could or would want to follow or keep up
with. It’s a nice pace it’s a comfortable
pace, but, it’s a personal pace. And personal
pace is ones personal space. A while ago I told
my old friend this once or twice before, and
“When two independent people get together,
a third person emerges from those two. That third
person is what the other two people would have
to be in order to have a successful relationship,
but first, those two people will have to fill
that third person with all the compromises of
there old life style, all the good things and
all the excepting of one another good and bad
I said this to her a few time in fact. We failed
at building the third person. As long as I keep
repeating the same patterns over and over again
I will be as I am right now. Not even a counter
part would work, that would end up as a conflict
of application function. The same interface with
different plug-in at the same time? No. That
is not going to happen. The same matter cannot
occupy the same space at the same time.
Wolfs run in packs, but they are still alone.
heroes are remote people, they are adored, but
ya-know? Only one Spiderman per city. Great leaders
are forlorn. Crowd A+++ are isolated people;
even in a large crowd on New Years Eve they are
alone, so. The rich, the poor, the real smart,
the real dumb, alcoholics, warriors, captains,
hustlers, single mothers, players, caged monkeys,
doormen, independent liberated people of all
kinds, bouncers, bill collectors, they all walk
alone even when they have a million friends.
Yeah Julie, I might have been a hard drunken
dickhead when I said hypothetically; “But
your boyfriend wants you to be home with him
right now, watching TV, it’s Monday? What
are you doing playing games with other boys?” Having
a job were the schedule is roughly and undetermined
exactly what time it begins or ends and you randomly
just leave, on a whim, leaving your loved one
behind, to do whatever he or she wants other
than being with you, well. How long can one do
that until one of the two gets tired of it? Even
if you are with someone who lives the same way
you do how long will it be until it just seems
what the point? I love Julie to death but you
know, she kind of reminds me of my dad, myself,
and a few other fellows lone wolfs. My family
broke up this way the way of the lone wolf. That
night other things came up, like parental preprogramming
and liberation promoting independence. My parents
were alcoholics now I hang in a bar. My dad to
this day is a lone wolf, now I hang with lone
wolfs. Do you see any liberation here? Or am
I just crazy? Id rather be bitter, then at least
at least I can sweeten it up with a loved not
Have you ever eaten
solid air? I did, on Saturday night.
It was raining cats and dogs, I didn’t
go out, I had no food in the fridge,
and I stood home so I ordered out.
The food took two hours too come, I
was starving. The food finally came
I served it up I tasted it and it was
like air. This restaurant use to be
good until it recently went under new
management, now the food is awful.
I tried to season it my self but the
food was not marinated enough, it tasted
like air with seasoning on it. I ate
it anyway; I was starving and waited
so long. There was a hair in the chicken;
I think it was mine I’m not sure.
I felt so nasty after I ate it. I will
never order from there again. Why did
I eat if it was nasty in the beginning?
I was starving and didn’t go
shopping for food and it was raining
a lot outside and I was still morning
the death of my little buddy.
roach is dead and it’s big and I love him,
I love my dead big roach.
I was living down town for a short while say
for about seven months or so, during that time
I was frequently visiting my home just to check
on things, like my turtle and plants, pay some
bills and stuff. During one of my frequent
visit, in my bedroom, I was doing just a standard
check up on my stuff. I noticed on the ground
a cockroach running by my feet, not just a
standard roach but one of those water bugs.
But this was a baby, it was tiny. I attempted
to stomp on it but all I succeeded in doing
was knocking off one of its legs. It ran in
circles cause it was now missing a leg thanks
to my inaccuracy in the art of roach stomping,
the cute tiny little booger succeed in running
under a bookshelf. I figured cause it lost
a limb it would eventually die.
last August 2005. Between the time of August
2005 and May 2006 I think I was home about
6 times maybe seven, that’s one visit
per month for seven months. During the
times I would check on my home I would always
see the little guy hanging with my turtle,
eating its food drinking its water sitting
on its shell; as if my turtle was giving it
a piggy back ride for fun. This roach not only
made friends with my turtle but was getting
bigger, and I mean big. I knew it was the same
guy cause every time we saw each other it would
do that full circle before it ran off into
areas of my room I could not reach or get to.
I moved back home in May and I would come home
late night the roach would already be casually
walking under the bookshelf. The little booger
respected my space when it sensed I was around,
even in my sleep it wouldn’t crawl on
me nor wouldn’t fly around in that terrorizing
people manner like roaches often do when they
get that size. He would only come out when
I am not home. It knew when its free time to
run and play, it knew my schedule, it knew
what was mine and what was its. It respected
me so I respected it and didn’t try to
kill it anymore, I figured, if I let this one
claim the territory (my room) others would
keep out, which is fine with me. But I read
roaches only live a year or two.
never left my bed room, it was born in there,
it lived in there, it grew up in there, and
I figured when its time would come I would
just find it laying on its back in the middle
of my room dead; or find my turtle chewing
on it with its wing sticking out of his mouth.
No, that’s not the fairy tale that would
happened on September 2nd 2006 11:19pm.
guess it opted not to go gentle into that
good night, but go out with a fight,
so it did, with my brother. My little buddy
decided to venture out into the unknown and
attack my brother, my 6 foot 4, 235 pound
size 14-sneaker brother. While he was on
his computer way across the other side of
the apartment. I come home and my brother
says, “ I took care of it”. My
heart dropped, my eyes wide open when I said “no,
please you didn’t” He says “ Yes,
I’m pleased I did, that thing walked
out of your room and started charging into
my direction like brave heart yelling out
freedom! The roach wanted to die, it was
big it was old, it was its time” I
felt sad, I felt sad for my little friend
the roach. Who is now dead? My roach is dead
and it’s big and I love him, I love
my dead big roach. I’m sad its gone.
That little guy helped me conquer one of
my oldest fears.
Some people would rather
do the time than admit to the crime. They
go deaf, they plead sick, they plead ignorance,
they play dumb, they play innocence, they
will do what ever it takes to protect there
seemingly vulnerability to judgment and humiliation
on any level; pride can be so-so a wicked
Who you have on your team doesn’t
make for a great team-
what you can do with who is on your team,
and make it a great team.
There is nothing worse
than investing personal time and hard
earned money into something seemingly
worthwhile only to ascertain subsequent
to the consequence you were wasting your
flipping-time and money all along. Oh
yeah, there is the whole “as long
as you learned something from it you
really didn’t waste your time” thingy.
What a creamy-load-of-corn-hole-doe.
The repeat offender theme does not always
have to be a one person offending another
person. One can repeat-offend oneself
repeatedly and take another along for
a ride into a downward spiral of parasitical
misery and oblivious of there-own-slowly-bleeding-company.
I’m not sexist or anything else
in the realm of macho-I am boy here me
roar Shinto But, I do feel bad when I
try and take drinks from my buddies.
Especially when they are girls younger
than me and who are still learning how
to make a ball under the pressure of
friendly judgment and observation of
slightly more advanced players. I said
the other night to my buddy Cary I feel
bad trying to take drinks from girls
I didn’t mean take drinks from
girls I meant take drinks from the girls
meaning my buddies who just happen to
be girls who are younger than me and
are still learning how to make a ball
under slight nervous tension for the
all night free booze. Are you kidding?
Me sexiest? It was women who inspired
me; showed me and taught me how to try
and make the best shots in pool today.
Heather Hatt, Jennifer Berretta and Alison
fisher. Three women who probably don’t
even know that they gave birth to a boy
4 years ago who now loves getting the
ball in the hole.
work is licensed under the Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial-NoDerivs2.5
License. To view a copy of this license, visit http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-nc-nd/2.5/
or send a letter to Creative Commons, 543 Howard Street, 5th Floor,
San Francisco, California, 94105, USA .| This work is licensed
under a Creative
Commons Attribution-NonCommercial-NoDerivs2.5 License. |
This website and all it's content that of williamfuentes's work,
photo's and words is Copywrited from 1997 all the way to 2006